i juz kana shot last night. ok.. not shot to do sth, but more of shot about my present pathetic situation.. makes loads of sense. blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. counciling.. hmm.. was quite ok.. not too bad.. made me regain my senses.. oh i went out with jessica and yvonne and clarissa to buy berms.. heh.. it was like cheap and nice!!! woo hoo!!!

oh today went out wif elaine n ber to buy stuff.. it as quite fun lar.. went to bras basar complex to buy stuff again. its like much cheaper over there.. tmr gg to 3rd place to pack stuff.. oh yes.. my camp grp.. i shall not comment lar.. heh.. ok lar chaoz..

bleah.. theres like loads to talk of now.. but juz no time to blog.. i dun wan my hse to b under renovation.. its bad for everyone.. u noe.. my skin n all.. bleah. nono not good..

prom was great.. had loads of fun.. juz no time to link my pictures to this blog.. wld prob talk more abt it another day.. rushing for time now..

class bbq was fun too.. i like this class the way it is.. a good mixture of e diff pple.. how i wish we din hafta change class.. been wif them for like 4 yrs.. and 3 yrs under loo.. dun wanna change.. but nxt yr got lg. bleah.. we've been splitted up.. sad.. oh sigh... anyway.. e bbq was great... though ended up wif e guys cooking and iwas like running all over e place.. but it wasn't too bad.. juz tat we din haf time to sit down and talk much.. oh well. played bridge untill 0130 b4 my dad chased me off to bed.. bleah. nvm..

oh e games day was quite ok.. e gals in my grp were so cute. heh.. oh yes.. e p6 gal is frm SCGS!!! woohoo!!! haha.. oops ok i'm crazy.. ya wld upload e photos later.. ok needa go out now. chaoz

bleah.. ok i feel bad writing tat now.. oh well.. juz went to cut my hair.. it was ok.. i pity tat guy tat had to cut my hair.. mum kept insisting that the length of my hair is still too long.. think he recut my fringe like at least 3 times. bleah.. attempting to do the christmas cards now.. but i still have alot of things to pack in my room.. they're starting the painting of the wall tmr.. and my room stinks of vanish now cause they juz applied a layer on my door.. argh!!! this is not nice... bleah ok gonna pack my room now! chaoz

goodness.. both sister n mother are throwing tantrums*honestly* and dad is away.. argh!!! run away from the shooting!!!

oh well.. first week after exams ended.. n i'm only in my 2nd day.. sigh.. oh a brighter note, yesterday was quite fun.. went with salt, dawn, xt, orphelia, mingyan, yunru n jeremy for lunch at seoul garden.. heh.. it was quite fun lar.. burning ice kachang... eating spagatti with the satay sauce etc.. oh n salt's birthday present from 3 of them was.. eh.. no comments.. haha got pic of her wif it.. oh yes.. n salt's cake.. tat most pple din finish.. oh well.. later shopped for prom stuff.. i think like 1/4 of e sc gals r getting their prom dresses frm Daniel Yam.. oh well i hope some pple's dresses r like to e ground cause mine is but alot of pple ones aren't.. sigh... nvm shall see this thurs..

i'm still stuck in this home that stinks of paint and turpentine.. bleah.. e painters are taking ages to finish up the painting.. worse still, the whole living room has been torn down.. this house looks weird now.. my room is not any better.. i'd better hurry pack them.. n i've got loads of paper to file up.. one thick stack of it.. ok i shall go off now.. gotta get my hair cut..

all hope is gone.. shattered.. then again.. my mind doesn't give up.. oh sigh.. no i dun like this.. its back.. Lord please take it away.. gone.

oh no!!! i juz mistook xt-eh for dawneh online.. oops.. heh sorrie ar!!! oh well.. exams r over.. n here i am trying to fill up the form tat suppose to send back to amy by today!! oops.. no time liao.. sigh.. chem was quite easy.. some difficult!!! sigh nvm its all OVER!!! xt say i'm crazy.. haha.. no i dun think i am. but it think i'd better hurry go fill up tat thing..

1 more paper!!! heh.. n today was the last day for tution!!! so sad... heh.. i think i'm gonna miss this tution.. e 2 tution i'll miss.. sciences and english.. oh well.. heh e guys today were so sweet.. bought card on behalf of e class.. brought cam to take photo.. heh elaine called them sissy.. first time seeing guys do these kind of things.. oh well.. anyway.. tmr gg out wif hb n sooling for dinner... then hafta go home...pack my room.. oh sigh.. e painting and "construction" starts on saturday.. so muz hurry up.. i think i'm watching alot of movies aft my exams.. oh well.. nvm.. waste more n more $$$ heh.. ok shall go off now.. tmr morning still hafta mug for chem!

my hair is standing.. olinda juz sang a song by theresa teng.. oh well.. nvm.. argh.. hb ask me to go wif her for aikido class.. but then mum n dad say the origins of it is budhist.. as in e actions.. then they not very keen of it.. oh well...

God works in ways we cannot see.. BUT He will make a way for me!!! woohoo... just as i wanted to pull out, you take one step forward. thank you Lord.. woohoo... i feel like i have an answer already!! do i?

oh sigh.. nono i'm not well.. in fact, i'm going down e hill.. on everything.. sigh... it seems tat all of today's messages were related to me.. wad Loo taught, wad paster Dianna said made some sense to this life of mine, and wad Poh Kiang shared today.. how true.. faith? trust? do i know these words? the eunice that reads too much into actions is back. and it is like all negative thoughts.. negative to me lar.. and negative enough to make me feel so upset n all.. bleah!!! and once again, i dunno how to put them down in words.. sigh.. oh well juz found out tat after my exams, 2 whole weeks can't use com cause shifting to GH. and no phone there too.. so everyone has to contact me through my hp.. sigh.. oh well.. my life sux now lar..

sigh.. nono life hasn't been good.. took bus to church today.. n on e bus.. my mind was like wondering away again!!! sigh.. fell sick like yesterday.. now slightly better.. of all times.. in e midst of my exams!!! whee!!! sigh.. nono.. shall not attempt anything funny..

i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * i wont think about it * sigh.. the my mind is working, but not my heart.. sigh... oh e only encouraging thing is my emath was well done!!! woohoo!! uncle raymond checked for me.. only 1 mark gone.. silly mark. forgot tat e shear is a NEGATIVE!!! sigh.. nvm.. bert. if u dun believe me.. fine.. live in self denial.. haha..

ENGLISH WAS BAD!!! bleah. i din noe wad to write. hand no plot to write for a title "Flight" no thoughts on the other plot. din wanna do descriptive on a shopping center cause it muz b big. e only one i cld think of was taka. not like i noe taka very well.. last 2.. either on school uniforms or if both parents shld work when child is still young. did e latter. though it was my first time doing such an essay, but better than having no plot i guess... bleah. compre wasn't exactly easy. loads of inference. i'm dead! bleah! i can't afford a B muz get A.. hope my oral can pull my grades up.. sigh.. i wan o levels to end right now.. bleah.. emath tmr.. nth much to study.. lit.. i've never studied for it b4 so.. here i am online! sigh... argh! i have a feeling i'll do very badly for o levels!!! summore ryl ma'am juz wrote a testimonial for me.. saying muz get 6 pts n go vjc.. sigh... no.. i'm dying.. vjc is a confirm no already.. sigh... hope can still hit sajc.. sigh...

oh sigh.. 3 papers down. many more to go.. bleah! oh well.. haven't been very good these few days.. closest word to use is surviving.. hmm.. mayb i shld change it to struggling to survive.. bleah! eng tmr.. and i'm half way down this week.. my amath is still dying.. did like 8 questions only noe how to do like 2 questions.. sigh.. oh yes.. i've msged tassha.. bleah.. after talking to like 5 pple.. heh out of which like 3 talked sense.. whee!! oh no why is tat word there.. found this poem..



Faith



If you think you are beaten, you are

If you think you dare not, you don't

If you like to win, but you think you can't

It is almost certain you won't



If you think you'll lose, you're lost

For out in the world we find

Success begins in a fellow's will

It's all in the state of mind



If you think you're our classed, you're

You've got to think high to rise

You've got to be sure of yourself

Before you can ever win a prize



Life's battles don't always go

To the the faster or stronger man

But soon or late

The man who wins

Is the man who thinks He Can!



whee.. love this.. oh well shall try to download some games etc into my phone!