year 2005 is here.. ok.. its like nearly 13 hrs into e new year.. theres juz so much to commit to this year.. so i wont write it down here.. it'll go into my journal as u can call it.. n yup.. i'll keep trying to learn to trust God FULLY this yr.. though i noe it'll b very difficult.. ya very very difficult.. especially over certain issues.. but.. i'll try.. hmmm.. gg for ARISE in like half an hr.. dun even noe why i'm gg.. but nvm.. shall go see wad i can get out of it.. but its catered for kids! ok.. i'm still young.. haha.. i'll b one yr older in 58 days!!! tats bad.. its so fast.. ok.. i remembered last yr i was like i wanna get older faster.. n now i'm sayin i dun wan.. k lar.. so contradictory.. but it is not a very nice tot of getting older, though i do wan to get to 21 faster.. heh.. cause 21 spells freedom.. oops.. heh.. okok shall go prepare for ARISE now lar.. chaoz.. n juz wishing everyone here a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

everyones over now.. n this ise 3rd time i'm blogging here.. after like 2 long entries, i'm still bored and wanna enter e 3rd one.. argh!!! lets see.. i haf 2 aunties, 1 uncle, 4 cousins, 1 cousin in law, 1 cousin in law to be and 1 niece here.. still haf more pple not here.. argh!!! its 7.. n i haf another 3 more hrs b4 they leave n i go to church.. argh!! n i'm bored.. lets see.. another 3 juz came.. argh.. bet they're gg to come n see this so i shall go off first.. ok another one juz walked in.. argh!! bored..

its e last day of e yr.. a good year for the year's "conclusion" haha.. influence from north korea... yup yup.. agree wif salt tat this yr has been bad.. though muz say haf some better times once in a blue moon.. hmm.. last day of my secondary school years.. lets see e thanx list...



4 prudence.. ok there are like 39 pple in e class lar. .but special thanx to north korea==salt, south korea==xt, peace keeping forces==chello, my partner==livia!!! u pple really made my days in 4pr much brighter.. yesyes.. still haf e rest of e pple.. though i wld say these pple really rock lar..



SCRCY... its pratically everyone.. gonna miss u all.. ying ghandi pot yak soo2 viv mana moo phi may2 jam xuan constance zhu char aud ursula hb phong nina adeline yup. got everyone down.. much as there were much politics, i still love u all.. thanx 4 everything man.. scrcy juniors.. all of u rock.. heh.. special thanx to suelin for being so nonsense.. n huizyi n jane n angie.. u pple haf in some way been an encouragement to me though u all may not noe ya? oh yes my 3 pl to scrcy juniors gloria cara n xuewen too... oh yes.. n its been great working wif u all for talentime this yr.. it was great!!!



ok.. other classes pple.. dawn.. my daughter ar.. so nonsense.. heh.. shuying eh.. i can't remember leh.. oh jac ong.. heh.. oh yes.. handbellers netballers metclubbers heh.. u all rock...



pple frm church.. from my class jessica *really had a great time planning stuff wif u..* stef*thanx for listening to all my nonsense* sam *u too* melissa *glad u're back* charlene *miss ya!* eh then shaun *thanx 4 everything man* bert *u too* nic, ziyang, jon, kw *glad to noe u* and of course.. LOO!!! thanx for everything man.. u're one great teacher!!!



from sml grp.. especially to e 3 sml grp leaders ber n dawn n denver.. thanx for everything.. really enjoyed sml grp under e 3 of ya..



from the usual grp tat stays back.. jess, clarissa, vivien*thanx for all tat teaching*, jacko*hope u've grown up*,yvonne n my sis..



eh other than tat grp.. abigail, tash, dinah, charlotte, clean, vicki, shane, eileen, mitchell, amy etc..



oh yes one camp grp.. especially.. grace and mrs seet *for your guidance in leading e grp* samuel*for being so cute* alex*nice talkin to u* sheryl* thanx for ya help man* melody*great noeing u* annette*u always so cute one* xinyu*great noeing u* jacko*thanx for being so smart (honestly)*



pple frm GAP camp.. graham n vivien*its been great workin wif u all* dinah*great noeing u better man* ber*for your guidance in e games* shaun&marie&clean*for planning games together* e whole camp com..



pple frm retreat.. all e SGLs.. abi yvonne bert shaun *thanx 4 e concern* kw n e guys *thanx 4 finishing e food (hahaha)* eh e whole retreat com..



oh i forgot tofu.. heh.. kw ben danson daniel dinah yiying faith*thanx for being so helpful*.. u pple rock.. really great workin wif u all man..



oh yes.. tution.. (sci) jaryl*for makin e lesson so fun* ben jianye david sam*for helpin me* jolene renling (eng) yuenkay n cindy n geraldine.. love u pple



muz say tat these events were like e "highlights" of the year.. e other parts were bad.. so these specific names.. *if i've left any name out, pardon me!!* heh.. will update if i realise i miss anyone.. heh.. ok.. chaoz..

woohoo.. juz finished cutting the carrots for the dinner tonight.. heh.. n my sis juz snacked on chips for lunch.. *naughty naughty* haha.. ok.. i'm seriously bored at home.. n i dun wanna stay at home e whole day!!! ok besdies leaving e hse at 1030 for watchnite... boring... i realise that i am e "weakest" psycologically, mentally and emotionally right in e morning.. heh.. i guess it gives me time to build up my "defences" for the day.. so i'll b prepared.. haha.. though i think bert won't agree to doing tat.. rite.. ok i'm not talkin sense.. argh.. waiting for dad to buy back lunch.. havent eaten anything since morning besides 3 slices of chips.. heh.. courtesy of elaine teo.. oh yes.. finally got e poc pics.. but then i can't upload it.. com got prob.. nvm nvm.. another day lar.. usin e other com.. i can't wait for sunday!!! argh!!! saturday is like ARISE.. n like wad elaine said, its all kids.. hope i dun sleep.. e songs r nice but e tot of all kids there.. n summore i dun even noe which kids frm pmc r gg.. nono.. not very good.. haha.. one afternoon wasted like tat.. sigh.. n wad a way to start off e new year.. oh yes.. lets see who i noe is gg to mjc.. eh.. only jaclyn chen n elaine.. one frm my pri sch, one my course mate.. sad sia.. oh n we're all in sci.. i seriously hope i can get into e 4 A level sub stream.. bleah!!! okok i think i shld go off now.. either help my mum cook or go read books.. n e weather is weird today.. keeps on raining since i've woken up.. on off on off rain.. sigh.. bleah.. bored.

woohoo!!! i'm BACK!!! in a slightly better mood.. not much better.. in e beginning of e outing, it was bad.. sorrie guys if i was very stone compared to normal poc outings.. but after tat, it was better.. heh.. really enjoyed myself today. watched the phantom of e opera at ps.. it was great.. least the singing was. xiuwen cheryl cedric n me cldn't get certain parts of it.. heh.. but later after some "talk" managed to figure it out lar... i wan e sound track!!! heh.. ok no rush.. nxt time then i buy.. oh yes.. met munching, xue wen, cara, jodie, grace, jane, charlene, rachel etc.. *not sure if i missed out anyone* today.. heh.. like suddenly see so many pple.. usually not tat bad..



aft tat, we went walkin abt.. went to hq.. heh.. met ma'ams n sirs there.. n they were so busy.. felt so bad disturbing them.. so took a photo for memory sake then left.. heh.. oh well then went back to ps to macs for awhile.. waited for cindy n then xw left for dance.. then we met hui hui at orchard mrt n then walked to forum to meet nisha at toys r us.. heh.. really enjoyed all e fun n laughter n disturbing.. woohoo.. then aft nisha was done, moved to far east to eat.. ate like 1/3 of my food.. no appetite again.. dunno wads wrong wif me.. these few days no appetite to eat.. unless e food has loads of flavouring then tat becomes bad lar.. ya.. so din eat much.. xw came back aft dance, n finally, we were able to meet as 7/7 = 1 POC com!!! heh.. all e while was 5/7 poc come... sigh.. but least managed to meet up lar.. woohoo... after tat, we took neoprints!!! haha.. took e card one.. as usual, cedric was e only guy.. we took it like 4 times.. so each one of us had at least 1 card.. oh yes laminated it too!!! then walked abt.. went to wisma n got hui hui e poc ring... oh yes.. muz go clean mine... then went home lar.. tats my day..



sigh... so sad.. cheryl leavin us liao.. gg to aust.. n refuses to tell when she is leaving.. nvm.. juz muz keep contact kz??? first time out as poc com had better not be e last.. heh.. love all of u man.. still remember those days of proposals n reports... *ok i shall stop this or i'll go on and on and on...* haha yes.. i love rc n i love e poc com.. i bet pple like soo2 has heard it tonnes of times from me already.. pity i doubt i'll haf e chance to go back to hq.. no time lar.. still got course... but rc hse looks nice now.. aft some changes.. much more presentable.. woohoo.. school is starting soon.. haha n all of us are like moaning away... Meredian.. here i come!!! haha.. i realise meredian is like one of e most strict jc.. sad.. haven't decided to crash or not.. see how.. oh well.. now tat i'm back home... dun feel like sleeping.. but haf to... oh yes surprisingly, there was no email in my 2nd yahoo account *e pleasegetyourown one .. was truely surprised.. hehe..



oh yes.. tmr got a family gathering.. i dun wanna go.. i'd rather go for e 17-up makan.. e gathering surely got alot of nagging etc.. aunties n uncles.. wad u expect rite.. sigh.. nvm.. shall b a good gal for once.. n hopefully.. i dun get into so much trouble wif my parents.. argh.. dunno wad kind of games there will b this sunday man.. i'm in like a bad place cause got like ushering duty too!!! heh.. ok nvm.. shall see how.. ok lar.. gg to pack stuff n prepare for tmr.. think some of them wld b over to help prepare from like 3 onwards.. e later e better.. unless it means they'd leave earlier, then all come earlier.. then i can go church earlier too!!! haha.. ok.. i'm off.. n still haven't tot of how to solve e prob.. yes bert.. leaving is one of e best solutions though my parents wld never hear of it.. so there u go.. e best solution gg down e drain.. *swoooooosh* washed away... wad a pity...

argh.. ok i've only 10 minutes to rush out this entry b4 leaving to meet e guys.. oh well... mayb e best solution is juz to leave.. juz leave.. and leave everything behind and in some sense start afresh somewhere else.. but then again, tat is not a solution.. is that? sigh.. no my heart soul n mind is once again not functioning.. i'm rattling off nonsense again.. sigh... oh yes.. shaun ar.. now tat ya internet is up, i bet u can read this lar.. heh.. nono blog reading is dangerous.. mayb i shld juz stop all forms of blog reading. cause its juz plain dangerous.. muz thank michelle ma'am for sharing that wif me this yr.. sigh..



this is not going to be easy.. though it seems like it is. but then again, like i said, "by faith, i'll overcome it" sigh.. yes.. by faith.. but nth seems to be working.. sigh.. no nothing.. n i dun wan things to get worse.. it must not. so.. the best thing is TO LEAVE!!! but then again.. no i won't argh!!! this is frustrating.. i'm such a difficult problem.. this, cannot tat, cannot.. so wad.. e best thing is to leave everything behind??? then again, no i won't!!! oh yes.. i agree wif S n G.. wad u both said 2/3 yrs ago were right.. head on man.. sigh.. okok.. i shall leave it as this now.. sigh.. entries now adays are getting gloomy.. argh!!!

i'm tired!!! argh!!! slept for like only 5 hrs.. considering e previous nite i slept for abt 3/4 hrs... sigh... i'm tired.. today slept from like 3pm to like 7.. heh.. oops.. argh.. my new fav phrase.. "by faith, i'll overcome it" heh.. argh.. though its no better, but talking was good.. thanx bert.. heh.. actually its not only by faith, but by his grace too.. nvm... shall leave it like tat.. i'm weird.. heh..



tmr i'm meeting the poc com.. so long since e last time i've met them.. cedric, xiuwen, cheryl, huihui, cindy, nisha!!! u pple rock! heh.. missed e times tat were spent on e proposals man.. woohoo.. n i still love e binding for the proposals.. e most pro looking one tat i've done.. heh.. cedric is gonna b e only guy again!!! haha. ok i'm not talking sense.. quite poor thing actually.. but i guess hes used to it.. hehe.. ok shall go make calls now aft my mum is done wif e phone.. oh yes.. its so frustrating.. i dun haf pictures of my class as in in church tat class from primary 2 onwards.. only those kindergarden to primary 1.. sigh.. nvm mayb one day i'll go ask teacher alan or jessie if they haf.. i wan e pictures.. haha.. okok.. shall stop here for now..

i'm finally back from leaders retreat. haha nth wif e word finally.. juz felt like putting it there.. oh well.. now, i wld honestly say that the camp was GOOD. much as i said last night that it was very bad.. but now.. heh.. i muz say it was GREAT!!!.. heh.. oh well.. i muz say i've learnt much in this camp.. though i wont say there was tat "spiritual high" there, but i've learnt alot of dependence on PRAYER!!! yup.. heh.. n like really see the power of prayer. the dependence of God. heh.. woohoo.. ok though i wont say i am ok over everything that has happened since one mth plus ago..but least i noe tat prayer works miracles.. n when i pray (especially when i got into my mum's car), i felt peace in tat sense.. heh.. i muz say tat i've seen someone who is like a role model.. no i'm not denying that Jesus is not my role model but then i guess i've found someone i can look up to as in in recent times kind of thing.. woohoo.. haha.. oh yes.. ok sth else now.. e team building games were great.. thanx marcus n ber.. heh.. i've really taken back loads from this camp.. oh yes.. n e 3 songs below were e ones tat impacted me the most this camp.. yup.. mayb its cause we sang them after my thoughts were straightened out.. so it was wif meaning.. heh.. ok.. i'm quite crazy now.. quite high now.. slept at nearly 4 yesterday n woke up at abt 0745 lets see 4 hrs? abt there.. n i'm wild awake.. theres loads to do.. n mayb callin bert? duno.. mayb i wld mayb i wont woohoo.. i'm crazy lar.. chaoz..

argh!!! i forgot sth.. ok this is in a slightly more serious tone.. oh well.. i realise and admit the missing of shalom in the ym.. and ya.. the perfect shalom in relationship wif each other is not happening in the YM.. haha.. thanx to shaun n kw.. haha.. though muz say it originally hit me on a raw nerve due to my family probs.. but it was quite true.. suddenly remembered about the word SHALOM today!!! "SHALOM!!!" haha.. ok this is bad.. this is like a super post ONE camp syndrome.. haha.. woohoo.. online for so long already.. din realise.. nearly 1 hr.. *this is so not me cause i usually stay here for like afew hrs..* haha.. woohoo.. really gonna chao now..

Give us clean hands



We bow our hearts, we bend out knees

Oh Spirit come make us humble

We turn out eyes from evil things

Oh Lord we cast down our idols



So give us clean hands

Give us pure hearts

Let us not life our souls to another



Oh God let us be

A generation that seeks

That seeks Your face

O God of Jacob



Make a Difference



Won't You Lord take a look at our hands

Everything we have use it for Your plans

Won't You Lord take a look at our hearts

Mould it refine it as You set us apart



We want to run to the altar

And catch the fire to stand in the gap

Between the living and the dead

Give us a heart of compassion

For a world without vision

We will make a difference

Bringing hope to our land



We will answer the call

To build this Church without walls

Let Your Glory be shown

Bring salvation to the lost

To the lost



Make me more like Jesus



I want within my life

Desire beyond my own

To be like Jesus

But when i see my life

The distance from the throne

And my heart longs for You

Holy Spirit come

Consume me with Your fire



Make me more like Jesus

Until Your love can shine through

Let me be a reflection

Of the glory in You

woohoo.. Merry Christmas everyone!!! heh.. this christmas has been one interesting one.. first time gg for christmas service without my parents.. hope tat won't be e case for e nxt few yrs.. giving out presents n cards were very interesting.. especially for bert n shaun *rite elaine?* heh.. pink cards.. interesting.. haha.. heh.. ok.. oh well.. it was quite fun today lar.. e best surprise i muz say was mrs seet's present.. heh.. really din expect it.. came as quite a shock i muz say.. a book.. can't remember e title lar.. oh well.. ok shall go prepare for retreat.. haven't pack my stuff *n amy hasn't confirmed if its stay over* n haven't read finish e book of JOHN! heh.. ok shall go off now lar..

i'm very scared. i'm very scared. i dunno wads gg to happen. no.. why is it that mummy becomes the "head of the family". even daddy can't do anything. all i do depends on her approval. no its not respect you're getting. its fear. i'm seriously very scared. i dunno what to do. daddy is smashed between the children and the wife. what is wrong. i'm sure i'm correct. daddy allows me to go for the retreat too. but if he does, she will fall out wif him. so unreasonable. is it hate that is building up in me? could he haf been correct that i hate the person that brought me into this world? i dunno.. all i noe is that i'm very very scared. how? how? there is no one around to talk to. no i dun wanna talk it out. no. i'm too afraid. i'm scared. i dunno wad to expect out of her anymore. she is.. nono.. how??? i dun wanna talk wif her.. daddy.. save me. but i know you can't i know you dun wanna jepodise your relationship wif her.. but then i'm very sure i'm right. whats wrong??? there is something wrong with the connection in this family.. i'm so afraid. i'm so afraid the family would fall apart. nono.. Lord, please help me. please help this family please guide us. i'm scared Lord.

went out wif clean n nut today!!! finally managed to go out after dunno how many yrs.. abt like 3.. woohoo.. heh had mos burger!!! clean's first rice burger!!! heh.. yup n first ice milk tea!!! woohoo.. sigh.. now i'm thinking of going back to rc.. shld i? shucks.. tats e prob wif me.. wan too many things.. nvm shall see how jc first 3 mths are first.. oh well.. i've done up most of e wrapping for presents already.. heh.. yay!!! bert's one is nicely done by 2 gals.. woohoo.. okok i've gotta go do some stuff now.. chaoz..

thank you Lord for the friends you gave me, for the encouragement that you've shown me through my frenz.. woohoo.. u pple rock.. oh yes salt!!! thanx for e card. n e crazy picture.. dunno how i got to u.. but thanx! woohoo.. i'm crazy.

stoning.. argh.. i'm all worked up again.. i think my lifespan has shorterened drastically.. sigh.. since i get irritated everyday by the same person.. argh.. hope i can survive this man... argh... sigh.. i seriously need councilling.. see how.. mayb having a session later at mayb 11? sigh.. i dunno..

finally i'm using blogger instead of blogthis.. heh bert claims its working, so fine.. i shall use it.. argh.. i'm confused.. who is good n who is not.. who is real n who isn't.. nvm.. shan't think too much.. nvm.. oh yes.. i'm at home stoning now.. suppose to go to e gym, but no mood to. prob wont go for cycling oso later.. shall see how.. sigh.. but prob wld go for carolling prac tmr.. woohoo.. suppose to go scrub e walls now.. but its so difficult.. yucks.. e fungi don't look very nice.. so muz put a new coat of paint over e walls.. shall let elaine do e painting later.. shall go scrub e wall.. hehe.. chaoz.

BOWLING!!! heh.. yes.. christmas bowl was yesterday.. it was fun, though some silly guys juz din haf e brains n common sense.. yes.. too dense ya? sigh.. nvm.. besides tat.. it was quite fun.. elaine ended up wif a broken nail plus sprained ankle *its always sprained* heh.. yup yup.. talked to shaun till like quite late, then followed up by amber.. in e end, went home like 1 1/2 hrs past my curfew time.. *oops* heh.. nvm nvm.. tat one can be settled.. oh yes.. in e morning went to sch to see e juniors perform.. e dances were nice.. juz tat steps not coordinated.. as for e other items, alot of practice needed.. but its great effort!! oh ya.. then went to parkway to support vivien.. she was playing for yamaha music school.. i tot we missed it at first.. then later end up they started super late.. heh.. i've no idea how they coordinate their hands n legs etc.. heh..



lets see.. for today.. it was a bad day.. started off bad at home.. bad in the car, and it was disgustingly fake in church.. i can't stand it when its like tat.. cldn't stand it already.. so sms dad to ask him when he was coming back.. hope i din scare him or anything.. juz needed to talk to him.. heh.. yup yup.. din haf e mood to day anything today *not tat i'm in e mood now, but ya..* oh n was really edgy today.. so sorrie amy.. heh.. muz haf scared u or sth. heh... oh yes.. sgl training today was quite ok.. learnt quite alot, though i was so figity all e way.. not in e right frame of mind today lar.. sigh.. n my bible cover has all e stuff tat bert attempted to get out of shaun's hair *yucks* muz thank sam for informing me.. argh!!! heh.. ok lar.. i dunno how long more i'm going to survive here.. juz hope it'll keep me long enough for me to turn 21 or sth..

results are out!!! as ryl ma'am said, it'll b out ard like 8 plus.. n like really, i checked.. n e results were like out.. heh.. i'm in meredian. past few days sort of haf e feeling i'll end up there.. missed sajc by abt 1/2 pts.. shld i appeal??? i dunno or shld i stay? i'm lost. oh yes.. salteh n ocs are both in sa.. haha lovey dovey couple!!! hehe.. oh n orphelia got acjc.. n of course our dear 2 pointer xt-eh got into hcjc *duh* hehe.. juz smsed mrs lai.. see how fast she replies..



ok back to yesterday.. we had the gathering at jianye's hse.. ben sam n myself met jianye at mrt then made our way to his hse.. wah i walk in was pretty long.. oh yes.. sam went for the SU camp this yr!!! heh.. n she noes james n breanna n loyce.. hehe.. so cool rite.. oh yes.. we attempted to teach ben bridge.. but as we taught half way, jaryl came.. so taught them over again.. but.. gave up after awhile cause they din understand.. so we played signal.. such a silly game.. but it was fun.. heh. n then mrs poon came.. so we played another game.. dunno how to explain, but it was very funny.. in e end aft 2 rounds, ben n jaryl had to do a forfeit.. so they did a mini "fight".. lets see.. lunch was really over supplied.. cause i brought finger food, while jaryl brought sushi, e rest brought chips n jianye provided most of e other food.. e sushi got like loads of wasabi lar.. *yucks* heh.. i dunno lar.. in e end, all e food was left in jianye's hse.. oh yes.. jaryl.. hurry up upload e photos.. e one on e last day of tution.. heh.. ok lar.. shall go off now.. chaoz

woohoo!!! back from visiting Mrs Lai.. she is so nice.. heh.. gave christmas present n baked scones the tea she made was quite nice.. mayb i'll drink those kind of tea from now on. woohoo!!! i tell u.. lorraine and justin are so cute!!! heh.. especially lorraine.. so talkative.. and her english is like quite accurate.. heh like my mum said, muz see who the teacher is.. n since its Mrs Lai, she is like a superb teacher, so ya.. expected.. heh.. i think junli last minute not going is actually a blessing in disguise. managed to talk to Mrs lai quite abit. actually, she gave loads of advice.. i din really talk much lar.. but then if junli went, these stuff wont b said. so.. its a blessing in disguise!! heh. ok lar.. shall go off now..

oh sigh.. life is so difficult. i dun like it. i dun like when all the problems juz start streaming in. why can't things just stay the way it is. why why why ??? ??? ??? why muz u appear? why must we grow up? why must we change? things are getting so complicated. as time goes by, respect is lost for people. relationships are built. the negative side of characters are seen. so many things happen. why can't we just stay the way we are now? i'm satisfied. i don't want to move on. but i have no choice. argh.. what shld i choose???

saw this link on yingmin's nic.. really nice song. go listen to it plus read e stuff written about it... http://ecards.worshiptogether.com/soldierStory/relaunch.html go see go see!!! heh.. i liked e song..

braces!!! i haf gotten braces already.. heh.. and my mouth feels so weird.. its in like e completely wrong place.. nvm.. least it doesn't ache tat much.. can eat more solid food.. oh well.. hope the ache goes off soon.. oh yes.. tmr visiting Mrs Lai wif junli.. oh well.. its good lar.. can see them again.. oh sigh.. i've wasted tonnes of sms lor.. wasting my money.. oh well.. okok.. shall go watch tv!!!

oh well.. i've completely lost confidence in you. no. its trust. its gone. i've held you in one of the highest esteem since i've known you. but then.. oh sigh.. nvm.. you managed to smash it in 1 simple camp... plus of course some other activities.. oh well.. ok mayb i've over reacting.. hopefully after a sleep, i'll b well..

after ONE camp till now, suddenly i hear alot of stuff about other pple.. of course negative lar.. n its not very encouraging to hear it.. i'm upset lar.. so many pple tat i've held in high esteem have all suddenly "disappeared" in that sense.. oh well.. nvm nvm.. eunice, ignore it.. ignore ignore ignore. life has to go on.. sigh sigh sigh..

on a lighter note.. TMR I'M GG CYCLING!! oops.. ok.. thats abit off... juz sth crazy to change the mood abit.. oh well.. watching tv now. n my mum wanna use this in like 1 hr tmr.. after she took it away frm me at 730. bleah.. ok.. shall make it quick.. sigh.. ok.. oh yes mr bertrand tan, your birthday is on the 19 of july. i noe k.. i noe e whole class's b-day lor!!! nonsense..

TOFU!!! ar.. i miss it.. i miss e time wif e grp.. sitting in the monorail stoning, the gals chatting, talking to faith, running abt e island, taking pictures.. oh yes.. swimming in the sea!!! oh yes.. my grp members that acted like a family *only e guys* daddy cum mummy cum lover to daniel = kangwei, plus danson and ben... heh.. they're like super cute lar... so fun!!! oh yes.. the excellet photo tat daryl took.. haha shaun.. *hint hint* ok no his com is down.. haha.. out of point.. i'm abit psyco now.. ignore me.. really enjoyed myself yesterday.. i think it was one of the few that i really enjoyed myself.. heh.. i'm serious yvonne!!! heh.. ok.. i shall stop here.. woohoo..

woohoo.. finally back from going out.. i've 1 hr b4 i rush out to mayb go to church.. oh well.. lets see.. i went to e gym juz now for abt an hr.. then we went down to tecman for quie awhile.. finally got my study bible n a cover.. oh plus loads of stuff.. uz remember tat my mum is paying not me.. oops heh.. oh well.. i've ta rush out stuff to send to yvonne and the 2 buggers are not helping me in anyway.. they're ONE hr late in passing me the stuff.. bleah.. ok i give up. do my best can already.. shall go do work now lar..

oh well.. today was not too bad.. found out my tofu grp.. got loads to do.. i muz really thank God for such a wonderfull committee last year.. love ya pple!!! its 0030 in e morning!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESS!!! heh.. called her juz now.. oh well.. tofu is this sat.. a little excited but ok lar.. I WANNA GO TECMAN TMR!!! hope mum brings us there.. wanna get my study bible as well as mayb books etc. i dunno wad to get for christmas presents.. bleah.. oh yes.. kw juz called e cow "shauny" so disgusting can.. oh well.. on a different note, some pple wanna take up responsibilities to look big, to be ahead/ onpar wif their frens.. but when it comes down to responsibilities, they dun do it.. its frustrating.. nvm nvm.. as i told kw juz now. no point getting stressed cause in e end e oen tat is being hurt is yourself.. ok calm down.. oh yes.. i think now someone owes me a slap.. or is e e other way round. ok nvm ignore me. medicine is taking effect.. woohoo.. oh yes.. christmas cards.. muz hurry rush out!!! chaoz..

today was really bad lar.. everything was wrong.. in e morning, it was ok.. went for a check up for my skin.. got like 9 medication now.. oh sigh.. n i'm on steriods for like 2 weeks.. oh well.. then i met soosoo to buy ryl ma'am's present.. then met abi n yvonne to shop.. bought like 2 pairs of earings. one stars n one treble clef.. nice.. oh n i met jaryl at ps.. oh well.. e not nice part came after tat..

we went to ps to meet e rest.. then there was some miscommunication n we ended up like unhappy wif each other.. juz as we settled tat, and went to e arcade to play, jess lost her wallet n hp.. and then, i realise i lost my camera.. this sux lar.. i can't believe it.. oh sigh..nvm.. ignore.

oh yes.. this sat i can't go to see my juniors full dress rehersal.. got tofu.. oh sigh.. nvm nvm.. everything is going wrong..

whats happening?? the pple around me seem to become very fake.. it seems like during the camp, i've seen their true colours or something.. people are so different.. so shallow now. even the people that i thought would be the last to actually be like that are becoming fake.. this is bad.. sigh.. shaun n gzerrel were right. yvonne n abi are right. sigh..



ok besides that.. i'm beginning to miss my group and some of the pple like eunice fu.. and of course my grp members.. nv expected to even end up missing them but i am.. oh well.. nvm.. my mind is in a whirl again..

ok.. i'm back.. had a nap juz now.. anyway... here is a "glimpse" of my camp...



on the first day, we had amazing race.. e games they play are.. no comments.. haha alot planned by ber.. oh well.. had some time knowing my group pple.. though many of them refused to talk.. heh.. oh yes met jane on the way as well.. heh.. my group was lucky.. we din hafta haf our faces painted etc.. but we had to carol at orchard road.. it was quite fun!!! tribal council was quite thought provoking.. went about the games without thinking about the pple's salvation.. but as the end of e whole thing, during tribal council, it really taught me to think about it..



the second day, besides workshop etc, i think the concert of prayer was really interesting.. the terrorist attack plus the stations.. i think e terrorist attack was very interesting.. quite real oso lar.. kana screamed at was quite bad.. but nvm.. learnt sth at least..



third day, went out wif yvonne abigan and james to meet 4 of their frens.. had quite an interesting time then aft tat met mrs seet while waiting for the rest of my group to come back from doing their survey.. well.. i realised tat my grp sort of bonded through this activity.. oh ya.. n the p5 guy in my grp got himself 2 fathers in our group.. got eamon n alex.. haha so funny.. oh well.. we oso celebrated nic's birthday..



oh well.. on day 4, the non-messy games were quite ok.. though e game masters for station A were not very good.. aka mgs gals.. ok i dun haf anything against them but they seriously din do the stuff properly.. it was quite badly done.. e games messy games were better.. really disgusting.. yucks!!! heh.. watermelon wif papaya wif orange wif bread wif slime n tofu.. yucks.. ok.. no comments.. e e concert at night was quite nice.. jerry ong came to share his testimony, plus the "singapore idol" annabel was good.. belinda chio belinday chio belinda chio belinda chio belinda chio belinda chio belinda chio.. haha tat was who my grp was suppose to support..



bleah.. now my voice is gone!!! no more voice.. lost it in e camp.. oh well.. i think i'll b missing my grp.. oh well.. nvm..

i'm back from camp!!!woohoo!!! ONE camp was quite fun.. i like my group.. though initially it seemed like one of e worse grp, but now.. it is really nice.. got melody sheryl annette xinyu jacko samuel and his 2 "fathers" alex n eamon.. oh well.. it was seriously interesting when the whole group starts to talk to each other.. really loved them lar.. generally it was fun, with the exception of a number of hiccups along the way which i wont bother to elaborate.. oh yes.. e speaker is like very entertaining.. though i felt that the sessions were kind of short.. ya.. they were..oh well.. oh yes my hse looks quite nice now.. i like my room!!! e curtain goes nicely with the rest of e stuff.. oh well.. i'm tired, but i can't sleep now.. cause if not i wont sleep at night.. shall go spend my time ard lar..