i spent such a long time overcoming it. i recall the times i spent trying to treat you as you are. following ___'s example. i seem to have succeeded, but i have no idea how you managed to bring those memories back to haunt me. i feel as if i have reverted back to my oldself. i feel like i am at a lost. i start worrying over what i should do when i see you. i really don't know. i feel like locking myself out when dad is out as well and only coming back when dad comes back.

i know as ___ said today "children obey your parents" but how difficult it is. to obey and "protect" yourself at the same time and try to act normal at the same time. when will you realise that i am no longer that primary 5 or secondary 3 girl you had yons ago? when? i long for a freedom to learn to be independent. i thank God for this wonderful experience where i have learnt so much more in this period than in my whole life. gratitude. each time i study/work next time, i am sure to look back at this living example. WWJD.. ironic in its own way isn't it? *dun read into dat sentence* but really.. What Would Jesus Do? sigh. i dunno..

side note: i will miss all in perth. much as i haf a mixture of fearful, joyful, etc experiences, i will miss each and everyone of them. as i was watching a movie wif jon n ailing last nite. while at the park wif irwin n jon today. i'll miss each n everyone of you. *serious* i'll miss the times we've shared. and as i finally bid goodbye, not knowing where i would be next yr, i pray for all the times i've had wif all of you, all the lessons i've learnt from all of you.