gosh. i am tired. dis week hasnt been very good. in the sense that i havent been studying. really din haf e motivation to start studying. den i keep hearing josh say dat he stan and francis are studying very hard.. gosh make me feel very bad. labs dis week was really bad.. sian. i muz start studying. tmr got mock exam. wed haf a major exam, friday got assignment due.. gosh!!!

juz watched xmen3 wif the church. yeap. 2 cinemas!!! haha.. very tired frm doing everything dis week.. but der is a sense of satisfaction when i complete it! haha.. yeap! it feels good to know that i haf complete stuff.. or dat i was of some form of help to others.. hehs.. the show was good. though i dun recall watching xmen 1 or 2.. but it made perfect sense to me. hehs.. next thing to do is to start getting shows frm josh nic nish and i dunno whoelse. but josh com doesnt like me. sian.

anyway. i really need to go study.. i juz finished my 3 hr dinner *cause was doing alot of things at once* yup.. fahb, here i come!!!

[cheryl] be satisfied wif ya herman darling lar [irwin] hmm wad to do.. dats wad i rmb. cause now u in singapore wad. summore so pro army. hehe..

oh gosh. its 1 am. and i am tired!!! i was originally planning to MAYBE read up on my physio lab for tmr.. but i din. guess why? cuase huibing needed help wif chem!! organic chem. on stereochemistry. gosh. i was like trying to explain chirality and how to label R and S over the phone to someone in canberra. dis is insane. anw. mayb i cna get some reading done tmr morning?? pray n hope so. i need to stop this sleeping habit. gosh! anyway.. i realise when u r sick, u get better sleep. weird huh..

was wif cheryl n lydia in the piano room juz now. den cheryl was playing. and like we were having a chat as well lar. den some how, it reminded me of taylors's music room.. 1st time i step in was on my first day. cheryl intro me to her darling *then yet to be* herman.. ya.. den the other times practicing for the valedictory dinner.. or irwin playing the national day marches on the piano.. or jon trying to learn how to play a song and when he does, he wld b super happy.. or like rmb our ball where novi and herman both played very well.. lalala. k i am not not being able to move on. juz dat i am juz recalling those days.. hahs.. random huh..

anyway. this week was bad.. been waking up late.. not feeling like studying. busy wif xmen 3 tics.. gosh. so many things to be done. some times i htink.. i wld rather juz b a church worker. i wld b very much happier than having to slog to studying and all.. haha k dat was a very random though. i noe God has greater plans for me.. *not that being a church worker is bad* but as in God has His own plans for me and i know that it is not being a church worker *though i wont mind* hehs.. yeap. like the many times Mrs Hilda reminded me last yr.. now i hafta remind myself.. really amazing how many amazing ppl God has blessed me wif last yr.. encouraging ppl. THANK YOU LORD..

well. i notice the amount of ppl who come have increase by quite abit. hahs. if u pop by, pls tag!! yes, even if it is ppl like cheryl.. ip i mean. u wan me to tag at yours tag here lar! hahs. anw. ya. like e amt of ppl accessing frm aust has increased *not that i mind* and its kind weird cause i dun give many ppl. i think only faith n cheryl bah..

ok that was besides the point.. heh. i am beginning to notice the amazing things God is doing in my life. the many times he has answered our prayers. like for my airplane ticket, i din get wad i wanted originally. but in e end, as i prayed. and prayed. and as dad n mum prayed.. i got the flight i wanted!!! AMEN!!! it was really like. WOW. the way God answers prayers. and another *recent* one is for this fren of mine. to see him turn his eyes upon Jesus. to see him find comfort and strength on our Lord Father. its really very encouraging. and to know that i haf helped in some way or other was even better..

"He replied,"Because you have so litle faith. I tell you the truth, if you ahve faith as small as a mustard see, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." "
Matthew 17:20-21

Its like really amazing.. how God only wants faith in us. faith that he will give us what is the best for us, faith that he is the alpha and omega. and the best thing is that even when i do silly things to make God angry, he is not angry at me. infact, He encourages me in His own ways. and makes me remember that His ways are always greater than my ways.

gosh. i am back in the reid livrary.. and there are 2 girls making fools of themselves beside me.. faith n peggy.. hehs.. both being very nonsensical.. fighting over a pencil which faith supposedly hid.. *but i moved it away* haha.. anw.. yes trying to rush through my rural week report which is seemly unable to complete.. 2500 words. i am currently at 1200.. it seems like a long way more, though i know i prob wont haf enough words.. sian. i can't seem to think of what to do. and i want to go watch my canto show!!! mayb i wld complete part of it tmr morning?!?!?! anyway, my week at a glance...

monday
my last fahb lab.. it was.. ok.. but not great.. i mean. labs.. gosh. anw. collected my aunt's photos. and i haf a feeling she got the wrong idea of the photos. i think she tot it was like wif a photo frame but der wasnt. anw. told my parents to tell her first.. so least i dun hafta tell her n face the nagging when i get back. hehs..

tuesday
fmc exam. gosh i tell u. i was super not prepared.. thank goodness lydia n gen told me abt the practice paper during fahb lecture today. den managed to do a crash practice wif gen 2 hrs b4 e paper. hope i can pass man..

wednesday
gosh. had to see the doc today for some blood test. and guess wad. e nurse cldnt find my vein. so she went fishing for my vein wif the needle in my flesh like u noe poking around. gosh. it hurt lar. thank goodness she decided to try the other side and found it immediately..

thursday
fell sick. all the way till now. and it is not nice to be sick. fever, throat, nose, gosh. plus st caths food are like fried and bad for sick ppl... gosh.. anw. yes it went on till sunday.. which is now. and its terribly sad lar. everything cant eat. gosh..

well.. generally is like dat lar. nth much to do.. oh yes. exam timetables are out!!! haha.. mine are quite nice.. like mon,wed,fri,mon. nicely spaced out. enoug htime to study for all.. *i hope* the only prob is psych n fcb clashes. like wtf.. 2 major papers. one in morning one in afternoon. gahs!!! anyway, muz get back to my rural week report. due tmr!!!

currently in the reid library trying to do my work. anyway, since i am here. might as well update huh.. yesterday was my slackest day in school. skipped fmc. and steph lam told me that there was no point gg for clinical practice cause they lady only talked abt dementia. moreover, my grp members were all out on placements. so.. i might as well not go too!! haha. *how smart of me* so i went out with cheryl in the morning.. went to the music store to get my pick while she searched for music scores. gosh. it was TERRIBLY EXPANSIVE. both picks and music scores. but i needed it, so got afew. she din get anything. but we both spent LOADS in coles. i got my drink filter *finally* and that costed a BOMB. plus i also got my cd holder. so now if anyone wants to borrow my shows, it can be easily browsed through!! hahs. so happy.. now i just have to go burn the stuff.. so mafan. gahs. my com takes AGES to burn one dvd.. hrmph.. anw.. no complaints. least it can burn dvds.. last time b4 i downloaded the software frm lydial, my com cldnt burn stuff.. in e end hafta trouble raymond n nish n lydia to help me burn. hehs. anyway, alls good now. hmm. i've got loads of food in my room now. though they are mostly healthy food that i bought yesterday. hehs. to make up for my refusal to drink milk.. hehs..

AustralianAsianChurchesNetwork seminar was at night. Jackie Pullinger was the preacher der.. gosh. the stuff she does in hongkong and china is really.. amazing.. was ushering dat night. realise it was sort of a uwa ushering to let us haf e experience.. but it was a good experience lar.. met alot of ppl der too.. met dawn n marcus, martin, tash n parents, jean, sookchun *din get to catch u wif her*, and i dunno if it was e best part or e worse part.. i met my uncle patrick and auntie serena. my homestay parents b4 i moved out *cause of some problems* to jackson avenue.. dunno if it was embarassing or wad. but anw. i juz greeting em.. catch up wif em.. and all was good *i think* ushering was.... good BUT the hall was messy.. they expected alot of ppl but south perth coc can only take 200 ppl.. so ppl were on e floors, standing, only the old ppl were sitting.. gosh. it was.. crazy.. but i learnt alot though. and God answered my questions yesterday through what jackie talked about. its like i have never been searching for an answer, but those qns haf been wif me since beginning of last yr.. it was really great lar..

thanks to dorcas too.. for giving me the assurance that i am not in e wrong course. since God had brought me there, and i am so sure of it, there is no possibility that i am in e wrong course. and she told me *her sister told her* that it was ok to doubt, but you shld submit it to God, let him know that i am doubting but i am gg to trust in Him to bring me through.. oso asked if i shld b gg for choir.. and she said concentrate on my midsems first. oh well. so here i am.. mid sem studying!!! haha.. plus rushing thoruhg assignments lar.. i dun wan it to b so last minute man... i think i got like 3 assignments due in 1 week. gosh. dats bad lar!! oh well.. ok ok study!!!

[irwin] hahs i noe.. well.. like wad dorcas said, e only thing i can do is to trust in God lor.. [isabelle] harlowz gal. how haf u beeN??

my fahb *foundations of animal and human biology - one of my units this sem* is so screwed up.. just go back my essay today. terribly upsetting..

maybe i am just running away from things? maybe i really have gotten it.

am i in the wrong course. i was so sure that God brought me this way. but now i cant say the same anymore.

can i get pass this sem??

Lord, guide me.

should i join the mothers day performance??

Lord, direct me.

i dunno what i should do..

Lord, light my path.

i am lost and am struggling...

Lord, my comforter..


[clayton] yeap sort of the nxt book.. [irwin] hehs. bbq breakfast is NICE.. [vicki] hey. i'll b back in july. but u prob wld b having test n all during dat period.. so dunno if can catch up not.. [rach] hey gal. thx. ya. miss u alot.. sigh. such problems.. so mafan. but i juz read sth. Psalms 25. go read. very encouraging. [may] gosh. i tot it was my sec sch fren. den i was wondering how come she is only 14.. haha so its irwin's *ahem* haha..

amazing. just as i was worrying yesterday about managing my studies with my service this period like u noe if i shld continue serving like "full on" and go for meetings and training even when my midsems and assignments draw near.. if i shld join choir for mother's day performance, if i shld usher for AACN seminar etc etc.. and like i did today's QT. it says that serious service requires serious sacrifice. and it quoted 2 Cor 6:4-10. like even if we end up sleeping late. end up not eating. etc etc.. it is still worth the sacrifice. and i just was like "wow!" i can't rmb who's sharing it was, i think it was roy's sharing on offering or was it ps patrick's sermon. one of them mentioned that God is not a second late, neither is he a second early. God's timing is really perfect and amazing. den i was thinking. if i had read this like 1 week earlier, it won't have such an impact on me.. not that i should have skipped my QT cause i shldn't but anw. ya. its really amazing when it strikes you.. and it realy makes e most impact.. really showing that God's plan is perfect!!

anyway, aside the point, i am really feeling a kind of uncomfortable-ness in caths. as in the few of em that i hang out wif. what i hear all day are gossips, criticisms. its like in the past it isn't so.. with rachel n cheryl it is still ok. dey are great friends. we can easily talk about other stuff and all.. but the other 2.. all i hear from them are criticisms. complaints. unfairness. like when will you stop criticising the way things work here, when will you stop comparing whose room is better. when will you stop complaining that the service here is lousy and the meals service here are not good enough? when will you stop and realise how fortunate you are? when will you stop and see that you are terribly lucky? now adays the moment they start, i get upset. and i leave. seriously. i will juz walk away. like i think its rather obvious, but i've tried. i tried to tell lydia abt it b4. infact, rachel n cheryl oso noticed it. all of us tried telling her b4. din work. i am really at my wits ends.. den as i tot she was changing for the better, jerline came into the picture. complain complain complain.. what the!!!!

Lord, give me the patience.

When I Call on Jesus
Nicole C Mullen

I'm so very ordinary
Nothing special on my own
I have never walked on water
I have never calmed a storm
Sometimes I'm hiding away from the madness around me
Like a child who's afraid of the dark

But when I call on Jesus
All things are possible
I can mount on wings like eagles and soar
When I call on Jesus
Mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue me when I call

Weary brother
Broken daughter
Widowed, widowed lover
You're not alone
If you're tired and scared of the madness around you
If you can't find the strength to carry on

But when you call on Jesus
All things are possible
You can mount on wings like eagles and soar
When you call on Jesus
Mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue you when you call

Call Him in the mornin'
In the afternoon time
Late in the evenin'
He'll be there
When your heart is broken
And you feel discouraged
You can just remember that He said
He'll be there

When I call on Jesus
All things are possible
I can mount on wings like eagles and soar
When I call on Jesus
Mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue me when I call


nice song rite?? hehs.. dunno where i got it frm.. muz go find.. juz found it in my windows media.. anw. its such a nice song. same person that sang redeemer that choir sang for easter.. *nice* like.. really wad i need now.. the assurance that when i call on Jesus, everything is possible. even work that i dun understand.. panick is beginning to set it. and that is bad. cause i go haywire when i panic. gosh. but like aft i read wad my cell leader sent me.. "u haf a God who hears u, e power of love behind u, e Holy Spirit within u, n all of heaven ahead of u." "i can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me." i can do it!

as i was coming back frm e city today, it kinda hit me like how much i haf matured from sec 4 till now.. i tot of one of e longest phone calls i had.. and all sorts of silly stuff being said.. gosh. i can't imagin dat was me 2 yrs ago.. now, i am not that rash * i think* not that unreasonable *i think* and i think i can think more.. hehs.. anw. ya. really amazing.. gosh.

ok that post looks very sadistic.. so i had better enter another one.. like wad i told lydia... as long as i get it off my chest i shld b fine. hehs... anw. church was good!! lala. enjoyed myself.. as usuall.. mayb i shld juz not bother huh? and like just let things pass? but i can't do it.. kk i really shld try. anw.. ya. todya suppose to haf discipleship but bijia cancelled it w/o telling me!!! gahs. hehs. anw. ya. so now i am suppose to b studying. and later see if i can pop by harbourtown to get some stuff frm nike.. den der is dawnlow's bday celebration later.. yup. yikes. i was suppose to go to church today.. den end up not gg cause of... bijia!!!gahs. bijia. all yuor fault!!! *joking* dawn went today. so i wanted to like go n see lar. like b der oso since steph oso very busy.. ya.. anw.. oh wells.. nxt week i wanan go.. choir was suppose to haf a performance thingy.. but i cant make it. silly midsems!!! i cant afford to let my results go anymore..oh yes. n tues n thurs i haf things on at uni anw.. gahs.. ok lar.. i hsall go off now. loads of work piling in..

i am terribly pissed off now. wanted to blog abt my trip to the aged care place today. but anw. no mood! seriously. now just seeing them puts me off. what kind of attitude is it? if you want something, you will ask nicely, if not, you will just ignore. you know how to ask if they need transport, yet i who stay beside you you don't bother. in the end, someone else needs to send me back. i am not upset about you not sending me back cause i am terribly reluctant to ever sit your car, neither am i upset about you asking me for stuff cause i dun mind passing them around. what i am upset about is your kind of selfish attitude. not only you.. its 2 of you infact. and the result of your selfish attitude is to bring more inconvenience to others. both incidences. you've brought inconveniences to 2 ppl already.. nish and charles and indirectly, marianne. what else can i say?? i tot least since u're frm zph.. things shldnt get this bad.. and you *diff*.. little did i expect too the kind of attitude u haf towards freshies. "they are weird" so you don't bother about them and tell me to go talk to them when i myself and a freshie?? *not that i mind. but what kind of attitude is this??* i tot i cld let it pass.. now i can't. i just seem to keep digging up your mistakes. why?

sigh.. Lord, please help me to apply what you have taught me this week. to have the heart of a servant. even when others treat me badly, to just humble myself and do things for your sake. i know this journey is going to be difficult, and i am not suppose to judge people as i have above, but it is seriously difficult when you meet with such cases. especially when you know you have another 6 and 4 yrs respectively with them and it is going to be a tough 6 and 4 years. Lord, please just guide me, please help me to calm down, please help me to love them as you loved those unlovable ones *like me* help me to be more like you. guide me Lord.

back from zion leaders meeting. TIRED!!! dunno how the rest can still go out for supper. if they do, it means that they would be back only at 1am. not happening for me!! i got a 9am lecture!! sigh. i have been terribly slack for the past 3 days. i keep saying i need to study, but it never happens. lectures have been just fine for the past few days.. 4 hr lectures on tuesday was the usual. wont say fun though.. tmr having another 3 hr lecture. followed by 3 hr break and then 3 hr anat lab. gosh! this is crazy.. kk i muz hit the library tmr.. its lunch then library.. gahs!!! i bought a poster for myself today. on dogs. *nice* wanted to buy one of e winnie e pooh one. but only 1 left so ip took it.. but got another design for hb.. the poster sale was good man. alot of nice posters. ip got a VERY INTERESTING one.. hehs. ask her for more details.. i feel terribly sian now cause i am suppose to be studying *dats why i din go out for supper wif uwaZ ppl* anyway. but i dunno where to start.. so i guess i will juz go and do my fcp case study. 2500 words. not very encouraging huh..

i've got a placement this friday. sort of attachment, but a super short one. like 2 hrs only. dis one is at an aged care place. ie. old folks home *phrased nicely* hehs. i'm super lucky mine is near by. like at cottesloe only.. not like some others who had joondalup etc etc where i ahve never heard of b4.. and another good thing is that olivia has volunteered to send me down.. *yays* means i get free transport.. kekeke.. aye.. dunno if i can haf guitar lessons wif josh in dat case b4 cell cuase dunno wad time i wld b back. but i dun think it is a prob. anw. cause i think we wld end early.. n only needa come back n bathe.. speaking of my guitar. havent touched it for 2 days le..

oh yes. dis morning, i actually tot i had missed breakfast cause by the time i got down, the place where they serve food was like closed. lights off-ed. then i saw ppl wif food, so i tot i juz missed it. nearly took cereal but good thing i din. i went to toast bread. then i looked up and saw that the chef was bbq-ing breakfast in the seating area outside. hahs. bbq-ed breakfast!!! nice!!! gosh. lydia tot he juz struck lottery or sth. such nice breakfast.. heh.. then again, i think its cause the nurses are having some conference in caths, so they need the whole kitchen to prepare their food. *i think*

another random comment here, but i think i have the BEST cell leader i can ever have.. like ok besides the usual jobs as a cell leader, she really goes all the way to help you, to bless you in anyway she can. she buys books for people, she boils herbal tea for people, she gives out sweets *for no reason* she is just so.. sweet!! and she knows that i sms quite abit, so she will sms me wadever it is. her phone bill is like 200+++ per mth.. and that is CRAZY.. she just gives so much, i wonder if she even receives.. well... all i've got to say is that tis cell leader of mine is FANTASTIC. not that yj was not good. both are good in der own areas. but i really enjoyed my period as dorcas's cell member.. and like its super sad. cause she is leaving soon.. sigh. oh yes. and rite.. dorcas n yj keep telling me to "rise up" but honestly, now if u ask me, i will be TERRIFIED. yj said she wanted to see me rise up at the beginnign of the year. but.. i seriously wont wanna lead a cell or sth.. like seeing the amount of effort others put in, i will never be able to do it. sigh. eunice shall juz stay as eunice.. in my multiple ministries *which even ailin thinks is crazy* hehs..

Simple Rainbow

i tried.. i really tried. as wad faith said it is on our part that we end up drawing away. i tried to come back. its no use. all is lost though i hope *not*.

listening to jamie o'shays lectures that i recorded are a torture.

help me

20min b4 i go out.. for some exercise thing wif rachel cheryl and lydia. hmmm.. i only brought my fbts over but they are all too short for this weather. can die in it man. anw. yes. means i muz pop by nike one of these days to go buy.. school for the past 2 days have been ok.

monday i finished off my fetal pig.. rather used to the smell alreayd so it wasn't a big proble with the dissection.. did the nervous system today. n the brain too!! how squishy the brain is. hehs. anw.. ya pbl was ok in the afternoon. kinda boring w/o lydia gen and darsh.. the dental students now have their own program.. oh yes. b4 and after pbl i went to matilda bay for some bbq thing dat faith n nick arranged.. hehs.. ya. got to noe quite a few taylors ppl *yays taylors!!!!* yup. were talking abt how e system is now and abt mrs caverly.. goodness. she is using ME as an example of someone who failed bio *finals* but got into medicine. what the!!! no link lar. telling them that wad. dun study bio still can get into med?? dots.. anw.. no one likes her.. so no comments.. well.. aft my pbl, the guys decided to throw gals into the sea. and good thing i nv came to me. for one, dey wont b able to carry me. 2nd dey let me go cause i helped get towels for em frm james. heh. it pays to b kind huh.. anw. winsy got thrown in, bijia did *oops i helped* and faith did toO!! ruwei was lucky as well. hehs.. anw.. ya. it was fun!

tuesday... ie today.. had 4 lectures straight. neither of them made any sense.. *gahs* but oh well.. i must start studying!!! if anyone is readin this, pls bug me to study everytime u see me. i've been lazying too much already. argh!!! today suppose to go for a psych research. but i took an afternoon nap *tired lar* and missed it. well. it is postponed to tmr.. means i cant go for psych lab in e morning... tmr is a good day to study *make sure you do eunice*

ok. it is almost time for me to go.. shall leave first lar. chaoz.