i dun feel like going back. i think its the same problem as last yr. fear. i don't think i had a very big problem that couldn't be solved. it was not as bad as compared to other people. yet, it has left a huge shadow in my life. fear, irritation. could it be cause i have not forgiven? or maybe i just have not broken from the strongholds of that incident. then again, der was nth serious about it.

each time i call, i only have questions for u. or to tell u how my day went. i don't want you to talk. because i know if you do, things may turn sour. it nearly did just now. i don't want it to happen. last year i called u and it broke up in an arguement.

*scared*

i miss you dad, i miss you elaine.