its been a long time since it has happened
or does it happen so often that i dont care anymore?

i still remember in my sec 4 days
the number of calls at night to 2 out of 3 of the ppg
the long talks till like 3 am
the talks correcting my mindset
still i had a phobia

and then i went to perth
things seem good
somehow jon helped, though i dun think he knows
i tried to let things go
i tried to open up to her
it seem to have worked
but one day during cell when i was abt to leave perth
i broke down
i was too scared to see her
i rather not go back

2006
it was not any better
i tried
not working
i still have a phobia of her
excuses excuses excuses

2007
it happened again
have i no respect for her anymore?
but the bible states otherwise

this saga with you has changed me
to become someone so quiet and withdrawn
someone noisy on the outside
and never says out much from the inside
i have changed in terms of friends
i have changed in terms of relationships

i really want this to end
i really wish it could end some way some how