i realise, i judge ppl alot. especially those ppl who have left a bad impression with me, its gonna b very hard to get anywhere near my good books.. n dats bad.. haha. den again, it is quite difficult to get into my really really really bad books. cause i usually just let things go.. maybe its just you guys. hahs..

anyway, the past few days have been great. on thursday night, had a very last minute dinner call frm pia.. like meet up wif the service coordinators.. quite funny dis grp of ppl. we had pizzas. that were yummy!!! haha.. too bad i not dat close to dis grp yet. so havent started my trigger happiness yet. hehe. but yea. it was good.. oh yes. it was jack kong max pia fang tyng n me!!! hehe.. den aft dat, pia just had to have desert.. she has such a sweet tooth.. haha. anw. yea. so we went to some desert. n it was fantastic. hehe.. green tea icecream with red bean. mmmmmmm... delicious. hahah...

cell was ok.. nth fantastic. but sarah's bday party was good.. ppl went clubbing. macham some cell outing. terrible lar. anw. yea. i really think this cell is very trying.. elizabetH!!! where are u!!! kk she prob wont read this. but yea. she was such an inspiration n motivation. kk not dat der isnt any now.. ofcourse the main one is God. hehe.. service was ok. once again, i miss nic n janice.. sigh. i noe i shldnt like dwell in the past n all, but those thoughts of how well we did, i cant help but think.. i din think it was fantastic. i felt like i was slacking for one. and i din feel that it went in any particular way well.. but oh well..

oh service on sunday was amazingly good though. michael battersby came. n dat was e highlight. haha.. ywa. it was good.. his sermon, his playing of the piano, etc. he is good lar.. thorougly enjoyed myself. glad that i decided to go.. nearly didn't.. photos will go up soon.. have taken quite abit

Everlasting - michael battersby

the power of your word
the everlasting hope i've found in you
saturate me now

the comfort of your love
the wonder of your presence in my life
saturate me now

show me your glory
teach me your ways almightly God
establish your word and i will
soar with you above the storm

everlasting, ever faithful God
ever watching over me
everlasting, ever faithful God
ever watching over me

i seem to keep forgetting to blog. kinda weird. but anw.. yea.. it was anzac day yesterday.. and i am suppose to do alot of things which i havent done.. argh!!!! hahaha... lets see.. tuesday nite was.. not bad.. went for cell dinner.. indo food. was great!!.. combined wif bijia's cell.. aft dat we went to watch movie.. it was ok.. as in the movie. but den... i somehow enjoyed myself alot.. i guess its cause its with (you) all.. i really really really enjoyed myself..

my dear cell leader wif jon who tried to duck(unsuccessful)

went to matbay yesterday to study wif letitia.. it was fun... the scenary was fantastic.. really.. shall put a picture up.. but yea. it was great. met pastor patrick der wif renee, christine and johnny.. (the last 3 are kids) yea. he came in richard simson's yatch. so cool rite. hahaha.. anw.. yea.. aft dat dorcas had discipleship.. and den aft dat, i had discipleship. now dorcas is in my discipleship too! yea.. aft dat was dinner!!! hehe.. dat eufei. dun wanna come out for dinner.. haha. but anw. yea.. went out wif crystal dorcas jamie howboon and jack.. like so random. felt too young to b der. HAHAHAHA.. anw.. yea.. it was an INTERESTING dinner.. lalala... aft dat went hme to bake.. cookies/muffins for anyone???

beautiful view of matilda bay (",)

letitia studying(not)

canoe polo (shaun.. u shld come try)

i think i noe why that paranoid feeling le.. cause i lost my wallet. dunno where it is.. bought bbt. so cant b der.. where else can it b?? sigh.. not in nancy's car either.. so.. i prob dropped it around the area.. argh.. how how how.. hate this..

hmmm... i dunno why, but i have this paranoid feeling about being a service coordinator.. its like.. i dunno why, but i feel like i am letting mavis down.. when i said yes, i had that peace of mind.. but suddenly, i don't.. i dunno why.. its weird..

been hanging out quite abit wif ppl like mishi mari josh abel these few days. actually, its juz like thurs nite n today.. but den again, i dun really see em.. so dats why its counted alot..

on thurs, went to city to meet huibing for dinner.. smartly forgot to bring her clothes.. we went to kim chi house for korean steamboat. i am sure she enjoyed it.. hehe.. den aft dat headed for timezone.. met michelle and melissa zheng with their paretns der.. the younger one chagned abit.. least the older one looks e same. hehs.. yea. and i rushed for my bus.. missed it by 1 min. had to wait der for 30min.. sads sads.. but yea.. headed for library to meet let.. den we walked to get my bike.. and in the process, dropped by mari's place. dey were playing citadels.. and yea. its a nice game. serious. those in singapore can go try buy that game. there are so many games that i wanna buy cause dey r simply so nice to play. hehs. oh.. got afew more.. like cranium is not bad as well.. so is blokus and sequence.. dunno since when i like such stuff. but its better than watching dramas eh. dun u agree?? haha..

friday cell was ok. i took a walk to ning's place frm mine. a good 40 min walk. but it was good. hehs.. really enjoyed it. went for bbt cause lydia went.. glad she gets along easily wif some ppl.. yea... hope she comes again. hehs..

wind surfing today was not bad.. dropped in twice only. den again, it was super calm.. got extra 2 hrs nxt week.. lalala... den went to city to get subway and meet letitia.. boss ask if wan i can work.. lala. shld i? hahahha.. kk i shld.. hehe.. den aft dat service.. i am so not used to stuff.. sigh. i dunno why.. anw.. aft service, had some meeting.. yea. its aft e meeting that i got all worried and paranoid. dunno why.. but i think its juz me. went to uncle billy's for dinner. not bad.. cheap for a dinner. den aft dat bought bbt and headed back!! hehe. talked to ryn's mum abit and den headed off to play citadels.. nice nice.. n aft dat played abit of taboo *nice game oso but quite old* yea.. and here i am..

work soon. quite excited. lalala..

this is super funny. i am stuck to it now.. first was mishi mari josh dey all.. sigh...

ironic eh. how i juz got internet at hme, but i dun blog at hme. i end up blogging in sch. anw.. i muz really thank mavis. cause now each time problems arise or i get worried, i think of wad she said.. makes sense eh.. but i guess the only problem now is that she is going ahead advertising for the place w/o telling me.. and when i ask her she says "no harm trying" like right... no harm.. u told me to go find and u go advertise. and even worse. put my number down w/o telling me.. like hello!! i wasnt expecting random phonecalls/sms.. sigh.. i really dunno wad to do wfi her.. best is to settle money first. den all will b better. hehs..

i realise i got alot of work to catch up on.. dis is terrible lar... needa study more and play and watch show less.. lalala...

i needa a job too!!! need to get a job to earn some extra cash.. lalala...

and i needa call home soon man.. sighs.. so many things to do.. kk i shall go off. needa prepare for a quiz later. chaoz.

argh. i hope eufei didnt remember this.. sigh. if you actually visit dis eufei, pls tag...

anw.. these few days have been up and down. especially during cell and service.. like it seems like what has affected me has kinda affected me on a whole.. kinda bad cuase i juz dun see a point to talk to some of my cell members. infact, i practically ignore them except when i have to work wif em.. silly me.. and now its kinda difficult to start talking. i am just to comfortable ignoring.. i think i better sms an sms of apology soon.. lalala...

wad mavis said made sense.. i guess.. she made it sound easy.. but.. i guess.. i am more emotional than her so its kinda different.. but i guess.. have to try and do it lar... i hope i can lar.. thanks mummy.. hehe.. made alot of sense.. and really sound like a mother.. hehs.. like advice that ppl give are all.. yes. good, but.. still.. hahs. thanks thanks thanks!!!!

i havent had that feeling since 2004... i rmb the last time i actually admitted it was a tiring session of 4 hours wif someone.. yeap.. and its back.. oh well.. i really shld concentrate on my studies. cause its tiring.. lalala..

God's will.

roller coaster.. i dunno why its been like this.. the moment i see you, i get scared. like i rather see your slippers at the door.. meaning you're out. i am so tired of it. i dunno why your existence can cause such emotional trauma.. it doesnt make sense eh..

maybe when one thing bothers you, everything starts to bother you as well. cause everything has been starting to bother me.. i think i think too much.. infact, i think my cgl cg helper and newest core member are all against me or have sth against me.. i somehow feel the difference for the first and the third. and the second. i juz dun see anything to talk to her about.. i guess thats how people work yea? like getting to know them based on your mood.. you think one has potential den u invest more time in the person and as a result neglect the rest. you dont involve your interns n helpers regarding investing in their lives. what on earth is this? i guess thats why i choose to ignore things. to not care. life was never that tough. oh well. why?

maybe you are just another one of those people. who easily get close to ppl.. another one eh..

i thought i would just voice out my view.. well... maybe i was over persistent.. maybe i should not have said anything.. oh well.. i am starting to just show attitude to people as well.. actually, i just dont want to smile or be nice or anything.. i sometimes dont want to care. maybe its just that i have been too long with you. yes. i notice it. once a person is with you for long, you will just assume she will know what to do and all?? i guess thats why i wish i had a new cgl and i guess thats why i wish i was placed with the other half of my previous cell..

and you want to move out? sigh. alright. if you say.. kinda mafan, kinda a headache to settle but if makes you happy.. as long as you dont show me attitude and dont make my life difficult. thats all i ask for.

.

What happens when you have a cell member that desperately wants cell at her place even if the location is not realistic and a cell leader that wants to give in to them all the way?? You have cell group held at the other end of the world and members who are unwilling to invite visitors. Hrmph. Cannot take it.. rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And what happens when you have 6 people who refuses to leave, and one of them wants the rest to leave and wants you to chase the rest away and only allow herself to stay?? And you know that the other 5 is must stay because it is one stay all stay.. I oso c annot take it… super irritating sia.. wanna kill ppl le.. rarrrr!!!!!