we make them cry who care for us

we cry for those who never care for us

and we care for those who will never cry for us

i was just reading a “long lost fren’s” blog.. and have been talking to Elaine abt how church has been in the past few mths.. and it really made me think through my decision to go to perth. Was it right? Even a couple of nights ago mum n I were having a talk, and she apologized for sending me overseas. Mayb sr wld haf done me good. Maybe staying in Singapore wld haf been better.. for my studies, health, frens, church etc.. what would I be like in these areas if I stayed?

seems like after 3 yrs, I haf lost most of my friends in Singapore. Not that I dun wanna catch up wif em but it just gets harder to relate when you are away. Even like for sooling and me. Though we are close but when I am in perth n she in Singapore studying it was hard to keep in touch. But the moment she came over, we had loads of topics to talk about.. its all abt effort. Which many dun haf e time to put in. and many times, it is not reciprocated. And it hurts and you just wont bother any more. 3 yrs ago, I made the step to put studies before friends. I guess I just have to face it now huh..

and even in pmc.. everything seems distant now.. though I try really hard. Always trying to rmb how bijia or jac does it.. and really try to make the effort. But it really isn’t easy.. even I can see.. things changes. Even for other ppl who go overseas.. was it to right decision to go over??

During the talk wif mum, I confidently told her that it was the right decision.. but now, thinking back, I am not too sure myself.

But I must really say, I must thank God for my friends in perth. In particularly faith (“,) yes you. Though I nv really talk abt my feelings out loud, but I know she wld b there anytime. Right? Hehe.. and I muz oso say, I have grown to be a better leader in zion. Passion has taught me loads that I dun tink I wld haf learnt in Singapore.. kudos to bijia dorcas crystal francis yanjing mavis.. n ofcourse my ministry heads jack n derell. Dey haf really taught me loads. Even more than I think I haf learnt in the years b4.. Even for my dearest hsemate weiping.. shes been such a dear.. thx gal for everything..

Maybe that is why I wanna get my PR and not come back to Singapore.. mayb dats why I am so bent on staying in perth whatever the reasons maybe..

Excuses or God’s plan? I really dunno.. but I guess I have to trust in Him that He has a greater plan for me.. when he sent me to perth, he had my road pave for me already..

I know, he sent me to zion, to passion, to uwa to learn to be a better vessel for Him.. and I honestly pray that I have been.. and will bring what I learn to wherever I go.. but honestly, the road is tough.. why I am in human movement, I still dunno.. why I did 1 yr of medicine I oso dunno. Maybe it was just me not grabbing the chance. I dunno.

I guess I just have to trust.

rarrrw.. eunice is not happy.. the china homestay girl is pissing me off.. rarrr... honestly. she has like the best homestay in the world. ok mayb not e only best. cause i am sure der r other good ones too. but honestly. my parents r so nice. and she seems to take advantge of them. either that or she juz doesnt appreciate it.

at the rate shes going, she is gg to spoil my sofa cause she doesnt sit down. she throws her weight down so much so u hear a loud plop each time.. like no one sits like that. and its every single time. i juz sit at e lounge area andi hear it over n over again. when i down switch e tv on, she walks in front of me least 7 times, back and forth. argh!!! anw. den, my sis n me dun get to watch our tv. cause she sits in front of the tv for HOURS. and she juz goes on watching her show and like not caring abt us, and she doesnt even bother to ask if we wanna watch it.. so much for us being e owners of e hse *sorta*.. and i dun even know how much she appreciates my dad when he tries so hard to help her wif her ticket, her sch etc. wif her ticket, hshe will reply him wif regards to school, she juz gives 1 word ans. what the.. and then. she doesnt even try to study hard. gosh. dunno how she is gg to make it here.. argh... like those china students we see in perth n in my sch, dey try to speak chinese. they ask us for help in learning words and all. but she juz doesnt care! so much for wanting to do her o levels in 1 yr. fail more like it. bleah. anw. and each time she watches show, not only do we not get to watch our own shows, we cant even concentrate on wad we are doing cause she will either sing/laugh/talk/comment very loudly.. argh.. i cannot take it..

anw.. e worse of all.. she is even more picky when it comes to food than faith is!!!! imagine that. haha... and its least 10 times more.. i can even list wad she doesnt eat. gosh. bleah. each time we eat, she will be picking stuff out of the food. and i tell u. i really hopess she appreciates it. cause she is getting a even better life tha my family are.. my parents wld sacrifice der or even my sis/my food to give her a better meal.. (eg. say we haf 2 fish. she will get half of one, and 4 of us will share the remaining 1 and half. considering we have a guy here ok. its super not enough for my dad. but he still does it..) yea. i tell u.. i hope she learns to be nicer. if not she will get kicked out soon.. inconsiderate, selfish, spoilt, pampered. rarr.. and the list goes on..