One Heartbeat

2008-11-14T10:29:00.000-08:00

woohoo!!!!

3 papers down, 2 to go. and i have absolutely no mood to study.. argh!!! how how how??? lalala lalala lalala

i juz had a 'lecture' with jeremy.. sigh.. i do so hate giving lectures.. maybe i need to learn how to convey my message across properly eh..

2008-11-12T08:51:00.000-08:00

hmmm... kiwi 2 has flown off.. apparently i am the mother, dey r my kids. wow. in dat case i have 15 kids? haha i love them.. i'm going to miss jiali so so so much.. like jeremy is great too. but dey r both unique. and i will really miss jiali..

cell leaders appreciation was awesome.. i've gotta get hold of the video wilson took.. its up on facebook though.. they did ymca and changed it to "eunice's house" and yea.. dey even took pictures of my room when it was a mess.. ARGH!!! i dun like ppl in my room when its in a mess. but i mean. i know it was for fun.. but yea. hehe.. d song/dance together with the video really made me cry. i was like telling myself cannot cry. sigh. but i did. heh.. i'm weak i know.. i juz haf a soft spot for them haha.. and my gift frm dem (a scrapbook) is still not done. hahaha.. why am i not surprised???? but i still love them.. very very much. hehe..

exam periods are now.. and everyone is super stress.. its reid library everyday. some go by 8am etc.. and we stay till 11pm. madness rite.. haha.. oh wells. exciting times eh.. i really enjoy times der. disturbing ppl, catching up wif ppl, getting to know them better.. even like rebekah is opening up so much more now..

we're heading for coral bay for the 3rd time aft exams.. n its gonna b insanely HUGE.. we have 47 ppl gg.. and i can just die i tell u.. but we all know its for God's ppl.. who are we to complain huh?? as long as they enjoy themselves, dats all.. i've learnt so much interms of planning.. interms of working wif ppl.. jlow aint that easy to work with.. gotta change approach tactics everytime.. sometimes muz b firm (when things gets out of hand) sometimes muz b silly.. ah.. my brain has too much to think.. den again, i enjoy such things. more than studying for organisational behaviour. dunno why i even took it. but i needa clear dis elective.. i will and i can.. coral bay will be exciting. woohoo!!!

2008-10-11T09:16:00.000-07:00

God is good, all the time..

my second time doing tithes n offerings.. and i was scared to death.. memories of the first one that i did haunted me.. i was scared. trembling. hands and feet, my voice quavered and i seem to be that close to tears.

this round somehow i felt a tad bit more confident. i prepared. i knew how God wanted me to do it.. yet my lack of faith caused me to start fearing what i was going to say was not good enough. that i'll go up and start panicking again like last round.. i prayed a prayer of peace and wisdom to know what to say. and as i went up there, i knew what to say. God guided me. my words and my actions.

it was really amazing when i went up there.. how i envisioned myself speaking was how it came out. it was amazing.. really thanks to joshlim for all the support. d place u sat was juz stratigic.. haha..& thx for responding so well. hehe. though faith wanted those lines to spoil my sharing.. anyhow.. really, it was all God and none of me.. cos if u ask me to do sth like this again, i wld prob start freaking out again. though i know dat God will always b der to guide.

the best part of all, i had so many ppl coming up to me to affirm that what i did was good and all.. and even better so, they were from a wide range of grps of ppl. frm those older knowledgeble ppl. to those newer ones.. i had several comments as followed "nice sharing", "short simple easy to understand. good", "nice use of props", "dare to use other verses. good" etc..

thanks so much guys.. and most importantly, thanks DADDY GOD...

another more amazing thing.. i prayed for 2 healings today for myself. and amen, i was healed. sort of instantly. for the swelling in one of my eyes. and that was kinda instant, and the pain in my arm.. thank you Lord.

2008-10-08T10:44:00.000-07:00

sometimes.. i just feel like i've failed as a cell leader..

there are so much i want to do that i wish i could do.. i ask myself how my members are doing, and sometimes my answer is i dunno. yet i am so tired physically..

i really dun like the idea that "he/she is a cell leader, so cannot be friends".. i dun get it. really. i dun.. sigh... and i dun even know why i'm getting so emo about it.. guess i really dun wanna see that gap, that barrier.. all i wanna do is just be friends..

its the last 3 cells left. i'm already gonna b missing this one. i dun wanna miss another one... i dun wan dis sem to end and i hate saying goodbye. especially when this one holds so much meaning to me.. and yet.. i feel like i've failed them. sigh..

i need a kind of check point. by people or by things happening..

currently as it seems, its a cell leader aint to her job, but we do our best to bond the cell..

maybe i am just being paranoid.

Psalms 121:1-2. help me Lord

2008-10-05T10:19:00.000-07:00

Motto

We look up to God for help and guidance,as well as for directions in our lives,as we aim for greater heights of achievements.
We lift up our eyes unto the Lord from whom we receive help to face life's trials and tribulations.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. " - Psalms 121:1-2 -

Creed

I would be true for there are those who trust me
I would be pure for there are those who care
I would be strong for there is much to suffer
I would be brave for there is much to dare (2x)

I would be friend of all - the foe, the friendless
I would be giving and forget the gift
I would be humble, for I know my weakness;
I would look up and love and laugh and lift. (2x)

I would be prayerful through each busy moment
I would be constantly in touch with God
I would be tuned to hear his slightest whisper
I would have faith to tread the path Christ trod. (2x)

Anthem

O Let our youthful voices ring
With all their joyfulness
In praise and gladness let us sing
Of Paya Lebar MGS (2x)

Here may we seek all wisdom, truth
And ways of kindness
Through all the years of golden youth
At Paya Lebar MGS (2x)

So when we leave its shethering walls
We go with fearlessness
Enriched to face life's greatest call
By Paya Lebar MGS (2x)

Now let us pray and learn and trust and obey
To serve Him in every way
Glory to God we give and pray
For Paya Lebar MGS (2x)

2008-10-03T01:30:00.000-07:00

i can't deal with stress.. i am so bad at it..

in the past few weeks, i've given everyone the impression that i'm very uptight and stress and all.. sigh... but they just don't see the importance of getting things done. and in the end, if its not done, either i get into trouble, or i dun get my sleep..

now everyone is telling me dun stress/dun worry etc.. yikes...

i realise i really suck at dealing with stress...

and sometimes, i do wish i never had to do all these

Lord, help me to remember each time i do all these, its for You and Your people. and help me to deal with it with a smile

2008-09-25T09:18:00.000-07:00

stand by everything you said
stand by the promises we make
let go of everything i've done
i'll run into your open arms

i was talking.. and it does seem that people are so... emotional. i can't find a better word to describe it. i know its difficult not to be emo. but when all thats said and done comes to an end, what holds you is God's promises and God Himself.

i guess i will not understand. won't i? but i guess... ... its sometimes not that difficult after all.. i mean.. those standing outside will see the clearer picture. no?

dear Lord, please keep me from all temptation. help me not fall into sin. help me to keep myself pure for you and for your mighty great plans.

2008-09-11T11:10:00.000-07:00

i was just looking through some videos on youtube shown by my hsemate.. n my my. wad memories it brought back..

i rmb when i was in primary sch, i wld go arounds shouting "chen han wei, wo yong yuan zhi chi ni!!!"

and the 7 and 9pm shows that used to be a reward for finishing my homework.

those were the days..

2008-09-09T01:06:00.000-07:00

half the semester has passed. well not exactly, but by the end of this week, it wld b.. and.. it has been a rather interesting semester.. i think i'll just ramble out everything in one long post...

indeed.. leading a cell is no joke.. especially as compared to what i did back home. back home its more facilitating a discussion.. how i literally have to preach.. and knowing me.. its such a challenge.. but really glory to God that i have sustained till now... and somehow, over here, der r so much more issues to deal with. i guess since everyone is away from family, we're their family...

i was just thinking.. if i was to lead a cell when i just came over when dorcas first asked me.. i think.. i wld not have done a good job.. least now, one n half yrs later.. i can say i haf improved. least i choose to believe so. each time i see my cell members change/improve/get over a problem, i feel such a great sense of satisfaction.. i really dunno how to describe..

its amazing how much i've learnt here.. its so different to the way i've been used to doing things.. but i really pray that no matter where i go, i would still be able to serve God and glorify His name in all that i do..

2009 could potentialy be my last yr in perth... if it ever is.. i pray God wld use me mightly in the remaining 2 cell grps i wld b leading..

[open wounds never seem to heal..they are the only reminants of the relationship we had. they have gotta be healed.it doesn't matter anymore. i shouldn't matter]

2008-08-26T09:25:00.000-07:00

not happy. will update soon.

2008-08-21T22:36:00.000-07:00

i know all the while you have something against me. sigh. i guess like what God told me. just do your part. thats enough..

why i use that kind of language? my D-ness? haha.. i think more like cos no one listens to me.. sigh.. its ok. i guess i will change n see how things goes.. with God's help. i will b better!

2008-08-16T10:53:00.000-07:00

i love jeremy and jiali to bits.. haha.. honestly, its amazing how much jiali catches on within 1-2 weeks. so much for her not knowing anything. today she just covered so much stuff for me.. its simply amazing.. she just took off a whole load of calling ppl n all off my back.. and it felt so good. hehe. finally i understand how much i helped max to do it last sem. haha *pat on my back* like so ego like dat. but yea.. i really understood it..

really, its the 2 of them that have been and i believe will be my support through dis sem.. when jeremy came up to me today and asked if shld go find other visitors to talk to. i was amazed. each time i go disturb him, he patiently asks if i needed anything like need him to do etc and if i said yes, he wld listen.. wow.. i am just so amazed..

indeed.. God has His plans in His timing.. not mine..

Lord, use what i have and grow it to build your kingdom. help me to invest in others just as you have invested in me.

2008-08-10T11:11:00.000-07:00

amazing. how God always has a special word for you no matter how difficult your situation is.

today's word for CAM vision day was on how to let God deal and grow your life? and every other point ps michael battersby said it just echoed in my heart. you know like being able to acknowledge with whatever is spoken.

ps michael said about not letting what other people are doing affect you. don't compare with people like who is doing better than who. only then can God use you. and it just spoke so much so much to me. i really need to let go of that first before being able to be used by God..i missed out the second part of his message cos i went for vocals workshop which was very good as well. so no regrets ..

2008-08-04T06:20:00.000-07:00

the feeling of being left out...

not fun. not nice.

everyone wants to be included. no one wants to feel excluded..

sometimes, when you are trying so hard on your side, and the other side does not reciprocate, it gets hard..

sometimes, people are just being over sensitive. and then does it back to you.

at the end of the day, we have to find where our true friends are. for they will be the one who will stand by you all the way.

and then i think for myself. who are my true friends?

God. daddy. mummy. elaine. faith. letitia. sooling. huibing. i am sure there could be more.

i love the feeling of being home. but home must first being me comfort. for now, home is in my Father's arms and 38 lim tua tow road

2008-07-30T22:44:00.000-07:00

i am honesetly feeling very emo now. i haf no idea why, but i've gotta snap out of it..

actually. i i do know why.. and it hits me hard when i start comparing. how fair or unfair things are now and before. i feel that everything is a choice. and since i did not get the training from him, i believe it was a choice he made frm the beginning.. and i get upset when another person does get it. cos its very unfair.. especially when i tried so hard. i really did.. wanting to learn more about stuff.. creating oportunities for myself to learn. but its always the same excuse.. tiredness.. and i am not some super woman fyi. i just try my best to cover your back.. and it doesn't mean i know everything and can do everything.. i am still learning and trying.. and i am just like other girls. needing care and concern.

you know.. i really need to snap out of this.. to learn from this and bring it to the next level in my cell.. this semester is going to be a challenge.. to step out of my comfort zone and make things work.. everyone who were my support. emotionally physically have been removed from me. and the only thing that stays on, now and forever is my spiritual support. i think. its now. that God is saying. rely on me. not on other people.. we can do this together!

2008-07-19T10:46:00.000-07:00

its been a busy week for me.. and besides being busy, its been really mind boggling.. how i wish sometimes my mind wld b less complicated. i wld not be as bothered as i am. i wld b more simple.. i wont b who i am.. but then again. God made us in His own image. and each and everyone of us are special.

the trip to augusta was just amazing.. you really see God's amazing work happening in our surroundings. in the world and you just cant help but to be in awe of Him. oh and i saw the end of the rainbow. no pot of gold but it was a pretty site. we went to climb some tree in pemberton, and honestly, it was just. great. the climb up the tree somehow struck me as an equivalent to our walk with God.. its tough. but the end product is what we keep in mind to keep us moving. sometimes it gets abit easier, sometimes it gets steeper. sometimes there will be pauses that just requires us to wait. and wait. and wait. sounds familiar?? yea. thats what happened in the tree. which i kinda found it the same as our walk wif God.. and indeed, it was a great encouragement.. my group that went to climb: henry jeremy isabel gloria me were pretty scared as we went up. and the 3 girls ended up singing.. and i particularly like one song.. "i CLIMB by faith each step by faith to live by faith i put my trust in you".. we chagned the caps word. it was suppose to be walk.. and we oso sang loads of other songs. to comfort ourselves to give us the courage to go on. cools rite...

anw.. besides that, i haf just been thinking over the past few weeks.. like is coordinating really what God has called me to do?? sometimes i just feel like a robot.. like doing the bulk of the work, but the master is the one that programs me, makes me do stuff and all..and everything muz "report" back to the master.. and somehow. it just makes me doubt.there are times that i look back at my past, but what God told me a couple of weeks back. is to move on. look ahead.. so. what is ahead for me?? i really dunno. i just dun wanna be a puppet/robot. to people.

2008-06-17T11:19:00.000-07:00

i hate the feeling of uncertainty... as i was looking at the photos, i thought to myself.. wad wld i b doing if i din come to perth.. once again.. another of my emo rides.. n i was thinking.. i really dunno eh.. i honestly wld nv heave learnt so much dat zph has taught me, but then again, i wld b experiencing a completely different thing..

i guess that is why i hate to return to singapore.. and i dread sundays.. cause things have moved on. things have changed. people have changed. its so difficult to build relationships based on something 4 years ago.. perth seems to be my home now.. so is zph.. i honestly dunno wad i wld b like if i decided to return to singapore.. honestly, it never crossed my mind.. its too much effort and too much of a transition. like how it took me so long to transit to perth..

i guess people are different. there are some that will try and keep the friendship. there are some who move on..

dad n mum wan me to go back.. longer.. but i dun.. honestly..i dunno..

dis is so not a good time for this kind of emo-ing.. i have 3 papers in the next 3 days. argh.

2008-06-08T02:10:00.000-07:00

eunice is feeling rather emo now. hahaha.. actually.. its after i tot of the line "max. are you feeling emo now?" for max's cell leaders appreciation video and he actually replied that he was feeling emo *dwanG!!* that the reality kinda set in..

this sem has passed in a flash.. i have been more regular @ sch, seemingly more hardworking.. and cell has been a blast.. each time i assure my members that alls good and even though we may not be in the same cell again, the world is not gg to end, i actually dun really think much abt it.. now that even combine cell has ended, the reality had kinda set in.. its the end of sth so wonderful so amusing so interesting, and the start of something new.

MAX_impact has really given me a new experience.. max n francis does things completely differently.. and it was interesting to get to work wif different ppl.. i feel that dis sem i have improved from last sem.. i took up challenges. i had more responsibilities, yet i was more reliant on one person.. and tried to rely on Him as well. the people i meet and work with.. the dynamics of the cell.. of the zone.. its all so different..

i was just thinking.. now that the cell has its own cliques, and the members are way much more stable, its high time we start integrating them with the zone.. and in this perspective, i guess its really good for our cell to split up. for the good of the people.. to bring all of them to the next level.

the dynamics of the zone is so different now.. the leadership is very comfortable now. what will happen when new leaders join us? how would we blend? i know we will do ok, but will the comfort be disrupted? its actually rather interesting to see how we would move in the near future.. and it really gets me excited.. and the most important thing is if our focus is right, if our focus is on GOd, den all wld b good. amen?

nxt sem would really be a different sem.. i actually wanna start breaking out of the reliance on a person. but to rely on GOd, and to juz aim to bring what ever ministry i am in to a new level.. changes are going to happen. both in cell and in service. infact, i believe, after those "wow" weekends, the church as well. i actually can't wait to hear from our zone sups on what is going to happen.. and i am actually very excited..

i haf no idea how dis post came to this.. i wanted to do a post abt cell. which i guess wld be the nxt one.. mayb can upload the poloroid pics i made too. kekeke..

2008-05-15T05:40:00.000-07:00

alot of things have been happening lately...

*have you ever wondered how it would be if everyone is scared of you and avoid you?? i think its quite sad isn't it. when people dun realise it and keep going their own ways and people get scared of em.. dunno to feel sad for them or wad..

*sometimes i guess i expect more.. like an equal of wad i do.. but i guess sometimes you just dun care do u?? sigh.. *sad sad*

*i have been wondering what is the real motivation to do stuff.. i really need to ask for a revelation of my own.. sigh.. jiayou eunice!!

2008-05-07T08:08:00.000-07:00

needs to come back to reality.

wake up girl.

2008-04-25T02:33:00.000-07:00

love so amazing so devine
demands my soul my life my all.

easter camp was amazing. it was a whole new feeling that i never had before..

there was freedom, independence, accountability, laughter, tears, and just awe.

indeed, God is great and greatly to be praised.

dear God, i pray that everyone that was touched by you and reignited in this camp would continue to feel your passion. feel your love. feel your touch. and continue to burn bright for you.

amen.

2008-04-15T07:23:00.000-07:00

i cannot believe this. someone told me e wrong info so i missed marianne n mishi's convo. ARGH dis is insane. sigh i feel so bad.. not that i will be missed. but i feel bad.. bleah...

anw.. i was juz reading my past entries when i got a link frm my cousin's blog.. amazing. how i was so motivated last time to study to do work to wake up early hahaha... i so need it again.. God, please give me the discipline to do things right.. to make things right.

2008-04-14T06:51:00.000-07:00

the 2 best compliments i've gotten for my baking

its the best i've had so far
i'm a big fan of ur cheesecake

hahaha.. ok. i know i've prob had Similar complimenTs. but somehow, when people reAlly meaN it LikE deep down, it becomes a whole lot more meaningful.. agree?? Yups!

2008-03-17T09:52:00.000-07:00

i'm glad we talked it out.. least one thing is settled.. yea?

2008-03-16T01:27:00.000-07:00

its been 2 weeks since i last updated this.. its been so freaking busy..

school has been alright. i've been lazy to go for class. sucks eh..cannot skip class anymore le.. bleah.. but guess wad.. holidays are here soon!!! its easter nxt week. early eh...

singing for choir for easter.. its gonna b great!!! great song. but den... alot of practice. oh wells... heh..

cell has been great. but busy.. average of 20 ppl per cell.. alot of work man..

work has been interesting.. pretty cool abt it..

only thing that has been kinda troubling is coordinating.. much tougher than i thought it is.. all other ministry heads have their own plans and own actions they wanna do. when i give instructions, some listen and cooperate. some juz give me a black face. ah.. male ego at work! sucks.

2008-03-02T07:06:00.000-08:00

i'm old.. 20 already.

its been a hectic week.. and even on my birthday, i had to work, had to go for choir practice and go out wif freshies. that was basically how i celebrated my birthday.. and cause of that, my celebrations have been pushed back.. and thus, presents came in late as well.. and that got me thinking.. like i know i have presents coming in and i know there are some ppl whom havent given me yet, but when stan posed the question wad is e best present i got, i realise that i have to admit, its God sending down His son Jesus Christ to die for an unworthy me..

anw.. really thanks to those ppl who got me stuff.. and who wished me happy bday.. like everything seems to have a real good use.. like recipe book.. bag.. even the stuff toy was like the cutest ever.. and also for those who really have the heart to think of me. thanks..

i supposedly still have 2 more bday meals.. i think one is confirm. cause i kena chased abt it for like 3 times le. but e last one.. i still contemplating.. but really thanks everyone..

school is starting tmr.. time to start afresh!

2008-02-22T08:10:00.000-08:00

this cell is amazing..

its one huge cell man. first informal cell had a turnout of 17. and the first official cell had a turnout of 23. its amazing how God works.. just taking numbers, it seemed discouraging cause some visitors said they couldnt come. but it was actually.. even better..

cell was great.. somehow the flow was great. though we made changes to the plans.. everything was just. amazing.. the commitment thing max made us do i felt was superb. meeting the people and getting to know them was great too.. i tried my best to do wad i could and hope it was alright.. but can really see the core doing their part as well..

i really hope this cell will grow from glory to glory..

[side note: its amazing how God plan for 3 of us - max stan me to pray for the cell the night b4.. stan called for supper and allie picked up so she was invited.. but backked out.. i originally made a promise not to go out late. but felt like i should go dis rd.. we met josh lim at northbridge but he was leaving to go out wif frens.. these stuff are not coincidences.. its God's plan.. max hit sth on the nail last night... and thus i am so convicted to change.]

2008-02-17T08:06:00.000-08:00

Complete - Parachute Band

Here I am, Oh God
I bring this sacrifice
My open heart, I offer up my life
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you Lord
In your strength will I break through Lord
Touch me now, let your love fall down on me
I know your love dispels all my fears
Through the storm I will hold on Lord
And by faith I will walk on Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day
And I will be complete in You

I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

its amazing how God works.. pmc sang this song on the last day i was back there. n this song was just so amazing. the lyrics n all just.. was so overwhelming. but yet i didnt know who sang it.. today, while practicing my guitar i was using believer's notes and there was the song. including the chords and all. its just so amazing.

in the past month i've been thrown with the question of my ministries.. and its been a tough decision.. actually, there hasnt been a decision made. but i guess i have a rough idea.. and like what mavis said. the sacrifice of some thing i really love had better be worth it. if not, what is the point of sacrificing it? and i really dunno if it is worth it.. it'll b starting all over again learning everything again.. is it worth it?

2008-02-08T05:17:00.000-08:00

argh. new cell list is out.. dunno to b excited or not. my old cell got splitted out.. and i miss it dearly.. dis cell is gg to b a challenging one.. i shant mention why here.. but yea. i guess i can only look ahead huh.. bleah.

2008-02-01T01:54:00.000-08:00

rarr.. my mum juz insulted me. over something that i am absolutely sure i was not demanding.. rarrr.. even more reasons for me not to come back to singapore during the july hols..

2008-01-14T08:22:00.000-08:00

we make them cry who care for us

we cry for those who never care for us

and we care for those who will never cry for us

2008-01-09T07:17:00.000-08:00

i was just reading a “long lost fren’s” blog.. and have been talking to Elaine abt how church has been in the past few mths.. and it really made me think through my decision to go to perth. Was it right? Even a couple of nights ago mum n I were having a talk, and she apologized for sending me overseas. Mayb sr wld haf done me good. Maybe staying in Singapore wld haf been better.. for my studies, health, frens, church etc.. what would I be like in these areas if I stayed?

seems like after 3 yrs, I haf lost most of my friends in Singapore. Not that I dun wanna catch up wif em but it just gets harder to relate when you are away. Even like for sooling and me. Though we are close but when I am in perth n she in Singapore studying it was hard to keep in touch. But the moment she came over, we had loads of topics to talk about.. its all abt effort. Which many dun haf e time to put in. and many times, it is not reciprocated. And it hurts and you just wont bother any more. 3 yrs ago, I made the step to put studies before friends. I guess I just have to face it now huh..

and even in pmc.. everything seems distant now.. though I try really hard. Always trying to rmb how bijia or jac does it.. and really try to make the effort. But it really isn’t easy.. even I can see.. things changes. Even for other ppl who go overseas.. was it to right decision to go over??

During the talk wif mum, I confidently told her that it was the right decision.. but now, thinking back, I am not too sure myself.

But I must really say, I must thank God for my friends in perth. In particularly faith (“,) yes you. Though I nv really talk abt my feelings out loud, but I know she wld b there anytime. Right? Hehe.. and I muz oso say, I have grown to be a better leader in zion. Passion has taught me loads that I dun tink I wld haf learnt in Singapore.. kudos to bijia dorcas crystal francis yanjing mavis.. n ofcourse my ministry heads jack n derell. Dey haf really taught me loads. Even more than I think I haf learnt in the years b4.. Even for my dearest hsemate weiping.. shes been such a dear.. thx gal for everything..

Maybe that is why I wanna get my PR and not come back to Singapore.. mayb dats why I am so bent on staying in perth whatever the reasons maybe..

Excuses or God’s plan? I really dunno.. but I guess I have to trust in Him that He has a greater plan for me.. when he sent me to perth, he had my road pave for me already..

I know, he sent me to zion, to passion, to uwa to learn to be a better vessel for Him.. and I honestly pray that I have been.. and will bring what I learn to wherever I go.. but honestly, the road is tough.. why I am in human movement, I still dunno.. why I did 1 yr of medicine I oso dunno. Maybe it was just me not grabbing the chance. I dunno.

I guess I just have to trust.

2008-01-04T03:31:00.000-08:00

rarrrw.. eunice is not happy.. the china homestay girl is pissing me off.. rarrr... honestly. she has like the best homestay in the world. ok mayb not e only best. cause i am sure der r other good ones too. but honestly. my parents r so nice. and she seems to take advantge of them. either that or she juz doesnt appreciate it.

at the rate shes going, she is gg to spoil my sofa cause she doesnt sit down. she throws her weight down so much so u hear a loud plop each time.. like no one sits like that. and its every single time. i juz sit at e lounge area andi hear it over n over again. when i down switch e tv on, she walks in front of me least 7 times, back and forth. argh!!! anw. den, my sis n me dun get to watch our tv. cause she sits in front of the tv for HOURS. and she juz goes on watching her show and like not caring abt us, and she doesnt even bother to ask if we wanna watch it.. so much for us being e owners of e hse *sorta*.. and i dun even know how much she appreciates my dad when he tries so hard to help her wif her ticket, her sch etc. wif her ticket, hshe will reply him wif regards to school, she juz gives 1 word ans. what the.. and then. she doesnt even try to study hard. gosh. dunno how she is gg to make it here.. argh... like those china students we see in perth n in my sch, dey try to speak chinese. they ask us for help in learning words and all. but she juz doesnt care! so much for wanting to do her o levels in 1 yr. fail more like it. bleah. anw. and each time she watches show, not only do we not get to watch our own shows, we cant even concentrate on wad we are doing cause she will either sing/laugh/talk/comment very loudly.. argh.. i cannot take it..

anw.. e worse of all.. she is even more picky when it comes to food than faith is!!!! imagine that. haha... and its least 10 times more.. i can even list wad she doesnt eat. gosh. bleah. each time we eat, she will be picking stuff out of the food. and i tell u. i really hopess she appreciates it. cause she is getting a even better life tha my family are.. my parents wld sacrifice der or even my sis/my food to give her a better meal.. (eg. say we haf 2 fish. she will get half of one, and 4 of us will share the remaining 1 and half. considering we have a guy here ok. its super not enough for my dad. but he still does it..) yea. i tell u.. i hope she learns to be nicer. if not she will get kicked out soon.. inconsiderate, selfish, spoilt, pampered. rarr.. and the list goes on..

2007-12-30T07:29:00.000-08:00

one of the "best" days of my stay in singapore so far is today.. had a family gathering. mom's side.. n gosh am i old.. i am an aunty. newphews joshua 6 xinhang 1mthplus, nieces ariel 4 given 3 adele 2.. josh ariel adele one family. the other 2 are 2 seperate families.. argh. hehe.. so adorable.. pity given din come. but i think e others cuter. hehe..

i had a great time. catching up wif cousins that i nv talk to for like years. or like juz hi bye kinda thing.. and the amazing thing is its facebook that we gotta know each other better. weird eh. yea. so managed to catch up wif sutyee n zhenshin. (not sure if spelling right) but anw. yea. both of em a yr younger than me. and it was qutie weird. cause like all the 4 younger ones were together talking. den the older ones were together talking. as in older siblings and the younger siblings. yea. and another cousin is e mother of josh ariel n adele.. yea.. she came to perth once. den din manage to meet up wif her but den when she came, it was as if we knew each other for a long while n like long lost frens.. hehe. i dunno. juz pretty cool. hehs.. i will try n get e kids pics up soon. hehe..

2007-12-26T08:05:00.000-08:00

what is unconditional love?

seeing her grow and mature is absolutely lovely.

but the process is terribly painful.

2007-12-08T06:17:00.000-08:00

i care. i really do. i just don't show it. it sucks. when people think you are non-chalent. oh well..

i am sorry.. really. i din mean it.. i will really try harder.

i really dun wanna go back now. only thing i miss is ELAINE!!!

2007-11-29T09:36:00.000-08:00

its been ages since i have blogged... so tot i'll pop in sth b4 i sleep.. let n allie over @ my place.. allie has been staying here ever since ping left. i miss ping. haha.. her randomness.. so fun. mmm.. the semester passes so fast.. oh well.. did a couple of things over the holiday so far.. like working, learning how to close the back, like doing admin etc. and then went up north for nearly a week. went snorkelling, atv driving etc. saw like turtles, swam wif e manta ray n reef sharks and loads of loads of fishes and corals.. i miss coral bay.. i wanna go back..

ok. i shall go sleep first. pictures up soon i think.. shall leave the 2 of them to emo/emo-talk in my living room.

chaoz.

2007-11-02T10:39:00.000-07:00

i dun understand. how ppl abuse freedom.

come on. get a life. get realistic..

2007-10-30T20:57:00.000-07:00

this is honestly, ODD..

like i was telling max [hm grp mate], suddenly i am very 'homesick' like dunno why oso.. super sickening. argh..

i had e weirdest dream last nite. i was @ some event like it was a normal event, but sponsored by some chinese religion thing. den it was terrible lar. some monk started to rituals all over me and at me. and i was freaking out.. and i felt like so.. i dunno. .weird? haha uncomfortable? gosh. such a terrible dream. argh.

2007-10-30T07:49:00.000-07:00

suddenly, i have this deep longing to go back to singapore. some how, i miss her. the tiny island.. haha..

today at work, i dunno why, but my mind kept going back to the good old days in singapore.. in scgs, in tution, in heartland mall, in novena sq, in hb's hse. haha.. i guess cause tehse few days got too much recollection of the past. chatting wif hb, reading blogs. hahaha..

i am thinking of booking my flight now to go back for christmas. but i think i will only make it just in time for christmas. dun think i cna go back any earlier. i even tot of juz appearing for christmas service.HAHAHA..

i needa study for exams.. sigh. hahaha.. i am so gonna die for exams if i dun study.. DIE.

2007-10-30T07:45:00.000-07:00

some ppl r juz plain stubborn.

we all have different mindsets. i am glad mine is changing. is yours?

some ppl juz dun think.

thx bijia for making me think. r u starting to think?

some ppl r juz plain rude.

thank you Lord for the gentle reminders to be polite. are you?

2007-10-18T10:45:00.000-07:00

i am thankful for my cell leader, and for the people around me who have showed me that even when you are tired, you do not throw your tantrum at people. i am glad i have changed. i have learnt to not do it. to not find excuses for things that you can't do, to not give lame reasons for your mistakes and incapabilities. instead, you try and make things better. all you need is effort. thank God i did not continue like that. if not, i would never be successful in life. and people would never like to work with you.. i think i am learning

have you?

2007-10-12T08:53:00.000-07:00

i've learnt to be nice when you want people to do something or when you want to tell people something.

its all about love. not about how great you are in doing what you are doing.

have you?

2007-10-09T05:23:00.000-07:00

mmm.. while talking to eufei, i had dis sudden realisation. that actually, much as i believe it isn't, alot of ppl read dis blog.. hahaha.. oh wells.. it really amazes me how my writing style has changed over the 3 yrs of bloggging..

anw.. i went to work today.. n it was.. dull. hahs.. i was so tired physically. i was telling my manager i am dead tired. n good thing she din scold or anything.. hehs. for once, i managed to talk to 2 of e guys.. like sth i've never done. cuase dey r kinda scary. haha.. but yea.. it was pretty cooll.. nice guys..

i've juz started my camping spree in gp3.. wanna make it a everyday thing. but feel bad cause josh hasta open door for me.. so.. mayb not.. we shall see how it goes lar. at most reid first? haha.. we'll see we'll see..

ps benny ho's sermon said that b4 we ask for it, we muz make sure we can start alone in Him. cuase if not, we will tend to be emotionally dependent..

suddenly i cant wait to go home. as in back to singapore. cant wait to go back n meet my family, frens. n oso the kids in hope.. miss em loads..

2007-10-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

mmm. juz came back frm e jetty.. went der after springfeast in uni.. aft springfeast, headed for jamie's place to play some games. quite fun. its been ages since i did such stuff.. mm. den aft dat couple of em decided to head for e jetty. so i followed.. hehs. quite fun eh. we went fishing.. caught a flounder first.. quite cool. but so small. sad. had to release it back into e water. den came a puffer.. and den another fish dat looked pretty decent.. den everything else were puffers frm den on. quite sad rite.. pictures shall b up on facebook soon. hehs.. anw. yea.. went der wif stan joshlau jamie weiping jeremy(awhile@beginning) max (@end) and yea. i am back in my room while the rest are still out der battling the cold. wonder wad dey r doing. but dey confirm not gg to sleep anytime soon. bet dey will go out for brekkie b4 gg to sleep. heh. i oso wan brekkie. haha.. anw. we were having very interesting conversations.. like truth n dare kinda questions.. which reminded me of my dream last nite.. ok b4 dat.. haha we saw a couple making out near e jetty lar. sick.

my dream last night was very interesting. i dreamt i was back in singapore.. in church. n e church was bigger. much bigger.. and by chance, i was walking to service wif dis old church fren of mine (which will never happen) and we were just catching up. though it was weird, but it seemed true in e dream. anw. yea. n he sort of realised what my problems were in moving church. n somehow, e worship was great. and aft dat somehow, i broke down. and yea.. he was der to comfort me..

it was a pretty interesting dream. i dunno why i had it. it seemed like sth indicating wad i am really concerned abt deep down in my heart.. i wish the dream could go on. and what happened in it could be real..

2007-09-24T09:30:00.000-07:00

thank you Lord, for your forgiveness
thank you Lord, for sending down angels to care for me
thank you Lord, for your fresh touch and blessing
thank you Lord.

i love you Lord, because you saved me
i love you Lord, becuase you loved me first
i love you Lord, for everything you've done in my life
i love you Lord.

you are my God, and you picked me up from the miry clay
you are my God, you made me in your image
you are my God, you love me for who i am
you are my God.

faith hope & love. and the greatest of these is love.

thankyou lord for not being calculative with me for my mistakes. thankyou lord for such a great cell leader [if u persevered over msn, i wld haf said]. thank you lord for a word frm a sister, thankyou lord for the countless of blessings you've poured in my life. thankyou lord for such great families.

2007-09-03T08:06:00.000-07:00

haha yup. indeed as irwin said. i am mia. haha.. how haf u guys been??? anw.. sch has been alright.. kinda excited for dis week to end. juz finished an assignmen n test today.. 2 more on wednesday. den can party!!!

kinda excited. cuase got a ball coming up. how often do u get a church ball???? once in a blue moon.. yup.. indeed dis yr e blue moon is up. so we're having a ball!!! its called GRACE.. really cant wait for it. all the excitement n hype about it.. pity some ppl r not gg.. but yea.. its gonna b cool man!!! don't think i'm gg to dance. but i'm singing.. n its gonna b cools!!! haha.. actually, the itenary wasnt as grand as i thought it was. but all is good. hehehe..

i'm so tired now that i dunno wad i wld do tmr. as in if i wld wake up in time.. working tmr.. excited.. ok i shld go try my dress now.. shall upload pics aft e ball!!!

2007-08-14T20:08:00.000-07:00

i was juz wondering.. if i wanted to copy all of these entries out, how long it wld take me.. anyway, i dunno why, but recently, i have been having the nostalgic feeling. and i hate it. its the kind that makes u miss what you had in the past. and seeing what ppl do makes me wanna b brave n do the same thing too. but i guess i oso realise i can't.. cause people are just different. and i know not to hold hope..

currently in school now.. i realise i actually feel great on wednesdays. cuase i wake up early. hahhaa.. n i actually do stuff.. not like other days. slack all day. hahaha..

movie marathon is coming up.. hehe.. got quite abit to do. though cant compare to wad my boss has to do. hehs.. ball is coming up too.. some how, i dunno how it wld turn out dis rd...

i wanna go back to the place i used to be

2007-08-11T11:55:00.000-07:00

sigh.. its been ages since i've blogged. n i realise the previous one was not very nice.. zion food fest and freshies welcome are just over.. hahs zff was great!!! we made 100 bucks. n faith still hasnt given me the money.. *shakes head*.. i realise that ppl in perth dun haf my blog.. n i am happy the way it is.. while talking to a freshie today i realise i havent blogged for ages.. its been like close to a couple of mths since i had a proper entry. oh wells. anw.. yea... zff was great. i wan the pictures stan took. but muz go ask him.. think he too busy le... hehehhe... freshies was great as well.. choir always is. hehe. d song we sang dis rd was... ... amazing. it was juz such a nice song. like even though i am not a freshie, i still love it. hahs. n i coordinated on the freshie on sat. it was a new experience.. sth new.. quite good.. i am coming to love this ministry. actually, my other ones are kinda becoming a drag. i dunno why. i guess cause i am up der, and it is up to me to make it fun. but i kinda like being down here.. oh wells... perseverance..

anw. am so happy dat elaine liked e present i sent back. n speaking of that, i havent called her yet.. suppose to make it a point to call her once a week. hehe. catch up wif her.. but oh well. i needa concentrate alot on my work as well..

school has been ok. i have been too slack.. nv study n all juz like playing ard. cuase i kinda fell sick. n on top of dat, went rock climbing and kinda died. haha.. cause my arms became sore n all. speaking of which, yays i can go swimming on monday. finally. cuase no lab on dat day.. hehe.. oh ya.. n i so need to skip.. exercise!!! hehehe..

o klar. i better sleep. if not tmr cannot wake up to pick the freshies to go for service.. n denstill needa rush back n pick ppl up for creative arts ministry vision day.. its gonna b FUN. hehehe.. michael battersby. amazing. haha..

2007-07-24T09:16:00.000-07:00

bad mood.. rarrr.. juz dun understand ppl.. i notice, alot of times u juz brush aside my ideas n opinions.. while i juz listen to yours.. kk i noe its unfair to say so. cuase we listen to each other whine n complain abt other stuff. but still.. why did we fall out over such stuff? think both of us r juz in a terrible mood eh? or mayb cause both our egos r too big. girls..

anw. i seriously dun understand our leaders sometimes.. where did the lead by example go to? where did the theory of "the basic reason we are here is to study" go to? i seriously am having a hard time submitting to them. esp those who are setting the very basic bad examples. u think abt it. if frm beginning of e sem, u think u will fail n wanna take a yr off. wad u think ur results will b? duh. fail. duh take a sem off.. n i honestly think if one does badly, he/she shld go think why it happened. n go cut down on all other stuff to make sure u pass. not go on n juz think u doing well in your ministries will "make up" for your studies. cuase it will stumble ppl. like how it has affected me. much as i try to not b affected, i still cant believe it is happening. don't u feel bad abt wasting money, about setting a bad eg? gosh.

actually, i am very thankful for my cell leader dis sem. finally, one dat i think i can learn frm, one dat i think is actually doing his best and knows his limits. i really thank God for dis cell leader. cause i realise its been 3 sems since e last cgl dat i had dat really set a fantastic eg.

dear God, please guide me in my walk with you and my studies and help me to do my best and rely on you. to learn my limits, and to learn how to set a good eg for those under me. and most importantly, help me to guard my heart frm all the negative stuff around, and help me not to judge. amen.

2007-07-17T10:01:00.000-07:00

omg.. its been ages since i blogged.. kinda like.. 1 mth?? haha.. yea.. its been a full month of roller coasters.. one good thing is that my housemate has moved out.. dat is simply amazing.. though it did create quite a bit of problems. cuase she din pay rent, or foot the electricity bills.. so.. gave me alot of problems lar.. but glad alls over.. n on top of that, someone "broke" into my hse. took away my canto shows n my tennis racket.. sighs.. ie.. no more shows for me.. lalalla.. so sad lar.. n the person tried ot be funny n left 2 green apples.. we suspect is lydia lar. cuase seh is e only one who had excess to my hse keys. anyhow, changed the lock. so alls good..

another highlight is that i went up north!!! *grins* it was ok.. fun part is wad we did.. SNORKLING!!! hahaha.. it was really great lar... like i seirously love snorkling. but the girls all kinda din do... oh wells. how to miss it out? so i juz went lor.. and we saw a HUGE queensland groupa.. how ever u spell it. but it was really huge.. off hand cant rmb its name.. but it was 250kg.. imagine the size.. i got SHOCK when i saw it.. kinda went to "hide" behind max who went out wif me to see.. overall the trip was good.. but i feel that frm dis trip, i learn alot of things. infact, frm dis sem, i really learnt alot of how to say no.. yea.. n dats good. cuase eunice cant say no.. hahs..

parents came over abt a week ago.. dey r leaving tmr.. gonna miss em so... hahs.. like so many times i get upset wif em.. or dun like things dey do, but i noe dat wad dey do are the best for me!!! aww. haha.. touched rite.. hahs.. dey haf really done so much for me. den daddy was saying how difficult it is to work n all.. feel so bad. muz graduate soon...

orientation dis sem was fun.. so fun to help ppl n all.. den meet parents, talk to freshies.. so fun.. i shall update more abt that soon. hahs.. ok lar. i better leave le.. parents coming over in 5 hrs.. last bit of time to spend wif em.. yawns..

2007-06-14T09:12:00.000-07:00

what on earth is your problem.. ignoring my calls ever since sunday.. what the.. eunice is not happy.. why on earth do such people do such things. very fun isit? i dun haf dat much time to hunt you down.. so much for being thoughtful and wanting to inform u. sheesh!

kk.. after all that ranting, i'm slightly better. hehs.. anw.. really wanna thank God for providing.. for providing me with a new housemate!!! shes the sister of a former church member, but ends up, we have alot of frens in common. from ppl frm scgs, to ppl frm tution, redcross members, and even primary school friends. yea. kinda excited about this.. gotta do up the house first though.. lalalalala...

2007-06-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

i think i know my "vision" for the next sem. it suddenly occured to me that cell leading aint that important. even though i felt the tug to tell them that i take back my words about not doing it, but i suddenly had an "inspiration". kinda got it from reading <>. the main verse was Haggai 1:9-11. and it really showed me that all the stuff that you build is really not important. it really isn't. but what is, is God's priorities. and what i see currently, is people. for those who are not being showered with attention from the few prominent leaders. there are more than enough leaders showering those who can blend in or who are making improvements with abundance of attention. but how about the rest? is it just a once or twice a week of catching up and fellowshipping? or is it really i want to be friends with you? anyway, yea.. the next paragraph says

"Sometimes God has to stir up the spirit of one man to initiate needed change. Zerubbabel was that man. Scriptures say, "The Lord stirred up the spirit of Zerubbabel" (Hag. 1:14). God is stirring up the spirit of a remnant of workplace believers throughout the world today. They are seeing what breaks God's heart, and they're responding. Has God placed the spirit of Zerubbabel in you? Are you one who will make a difference for the Kingdom, or are you concerned about building bigger and better barns? The Lord is calling forth His people in these last days to make a difference. Ask Him what He wants to do through you."

and i guess, i suddenly had this inspiration to be the one who brings people back? to connect with those people, and build genuine relationships with them... honestly, this seems like a really tough task. but i have done it once, and with God's strength, i can do it again and again. if this is what He wants me to do, He will guide me through it.. anw. juz though i had better pen it down. before i forget it. amazing huh. how devotions can make a difference.

just a side note, something in noticed. like what i said above. like those who are showing improvements are showered with loads of attention. they will be the top priority in the leaders minds. be it who to catch up with, or has she finished exams etc etc.. least that is what i see lar. and i guess i have experienced it b4.. and surprisingly, it has not affected me. infact, i think its more important to think of how to help others as well.. i think its not such a big problem as i put it as. but it is something that can be improved.. and something that i feel "called" to do. so oh well.. we shall see how God leads from here.

2007-06-12T01:59:00.000-07:00

your name is a strength to me
a rock on which i stand
a name so faithful and true
Lord you are the reason for my living
you will always be my King

2007-06-10T00:52:00.000-07:00

seems like this period is a bad period for everyone.. one of my fren's greatgrandma juz passed away, one of my fren juz lost a gate key and as a result her brother was very upset. hmm.. wads gg wrong???

anw.. as for me, yesterday was a bad day. everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. the bus was 10 minutes late. thus i was 5 min late for work. then it was work. i made so many mistakes. take wrong order, couldnt catch order, put wrong item, missed out items. gosh. it was terrible. den, i left early to take the bus.. bought boost on the way. din have enough money. good thing the guy was nice n rounded it down to 5 bucks. just wad i had.. den aft dat i went to catch the bus. only to find out that they chaged the bus stop.. and thus i had to "run" to the bus port.. reached der on the dot. was so worried i was late.. den, the bus came like 10 min late.. gosh. wanna die.. even worse.. i din haf any cash on me. bleah. how bad can dat get rite.. the guy wanted me to get off the bus.. good thing i pleaded wif him. got on.. everything else frm der to my hme went alright.. den when i left the hse, i headed for broadway. half way through, ppl started calling me. gosh. anw. yea.. so i stopped to listen lar. n aft i stopped n headed on again, my cup of boost which was in my hand carry bag broke! my notebook, pen, etc etc were soaked in boost. how terrible can it get rite?? sigh.. anw.. yea. so no choice lor.. stood by the roadside to clear everything for like 15 min. den headed to broadway to clean up. dat one not dat bad lar.. but aft dat, when i went to get cash out, dey said my bank got no money!!! argh. sigh. anw.. yea.. dunno wads wrong le. but anw. things are better now i think..

oh. n talked to crystal. realise alot of probs.. like though i looked ok, but aft dat, when i came back n rant all to faith, its obviously i was like indignant abt things. bleah..

2007-06-07T09:23:00.000-07:00

hmm. i just kinda listened to a talk between josh stan n let.. and i kinda joined in abit.. it was interesting.. like i really never knew guys opinions.. like honestly. and they say dey actually dun mind girls taking the first step, doing more stuff for em, expressing their interest.. etc etc etc.. very interesting topic. and like i kinda agree with alot of things that josh said. like how he doesn't want to break the friendship and all.. hahs. nv knew he thought so much.. stan on the other hand is a just whack kind.. interesting how the 2 opinions differ so much.. kinda changes my opinion of them as well.. but yea.. now that i haf a new knowledge of stuff.. lalalalala.. haha. kk dat last part was random. but yea. it was very interesting.. and its very nice to know that nowadays, guys DO consider stuff b4 actually rushing into it. yea.. i wld think such things are getting lesser le.. no? hahaha..

i also realise today that there is always a barrier to friendships.. maybe it is just this one? hahaha.. or maybe its just my problem as i said.. maybe, again like i analysed, girls prefer guys to share stuff n all.. aint it true? hahahah... i rest my case.

anyway, today's paper was alright. not excellent, not bad.. tmr's one had better be good.. its freaking 40%.. dunno how long more i shld study for. prob abit more.. den wake up ard 9 plus tmr insteadof 8... 6 hrs of sleep is all i get during exam periods man.. hahs..

i realise. i get emotionally attached to a person when i am close to the person.. be it boy or girl.. super sian.. i shld think less.. and guard my heart more. *so to speak* to think that i juz talked to eleanor abt it. hahs..

2007-06-07T04:52:00.000-07:00

"I think I mentioned on my blog before that one of my greatest fears is disappointment. And of course, I've learned that the reason why I'm easily disappointed is because of my high expectations on people. They say the way to go around this is really... not to expect too much from other people.. Then it made me think, have I really been expecting too much... and are my expectations so negative or unrealistic? Am I really that bad a person, always expecting people to be perfect when I'm not? Have I been expecting people to not make mistakes when I'm making mistakes everyday? I really asked myself several questions. I dont think I always tell people what to do, and I don't think I've ever set high expectations for people to follow (apart from things like artwork and cleanliness)... but one thing I know and can never deny, my countenance always gives it away... People can always tell from my facial expression whether I'm happy or upset. And perhaps I come across as someone whose expectations other people have to live up to. They say my reaction says it all. Otherwise I wouldnt react like that, and otherwise I wouldn't make judgements. Sometimes I really wonder how I should react..or if people really understand how I'm feeling inside. I'm really not good at hiding that. Also, in the first place, is disappointment a legitimate feeling?"

i took the above frm nikki's blog.. seems to kinda relate to me..

2007-06-03T20:33:00.000-07:00

sometimes you need to be selfish to prevent from being hurt.

such a stumbling statement. why on earth did it put it up? anw. yea.. i shall leave it here.. it shld b safe..

oh n i think i figured out the problem to the previous post.. maybe its called confidence in yourself? like when A is down, B would think what has B done that could have affected A, but when B is down, A would think maybe A is stress or something. maybe like wad mavis said. "not everything is about you". but then again, if you think twice, what if it is really about you, and you would never know about it but end up hurting the person even more. hmm.. complicated issue eh.. heheh.

2007-06-03T08:14:00.000-07:00

euncie is not happy..

i guess i need to reevaluate what i wld term as friends, what i expect out of them and all.. kinda sian when you think like someone is one of your closest fren and u give it all u can but get nth in return.. i guess thats why dey say it takes both side to keep things going.. both in bgr n friendships..

maybe i am juz too nice..

maybe i shouldnt place all "hope" on one person. incase the person fails you. why havent i learnt my lesson? hahaha

i notice. u hafta b of a certain kind of character to get along with the uwa ppl.. if not, u will have to try very hard. like me. i miss murdoch.

2007-06-02T06:52:00.000-07:00

i'm sore.

i should judge less.

i think i am getting tired.

i need to change my source of strength.

2007-05-31T05:28:00.000-07:00

oh.. dat was the 500th post.. wasted on u. sians. hahahah. anw.. i dunno why, suddenly super stressed over the up coming exams. i so wanna do well man.. lalalalala.. stressed!!!

2007-05-30T10:07:00.000-07:00

"I guess the hardest things that you love most about a person are the very things that you find yourself unable to describe when you need to the most." -you-

doesn't that sound familiar?

2007-05-30T09:51:00.000-07:00

is it that nice to ignore me? sobs. sometimes, i wish i could sit down and have a long talk with you and really understand your pov.. sometimes its just so dificult to understand you. i really wish we could sit down and have a heart to heart talk. i have a feeling that it can go on for days.. when will this stop?

2007-05-26T07:48:00.000-07:00

i don't understand people. in fact, i find people very difficult to understand. thats why, i try to always be on my best behaviour. though it is difficult, i try. and i also try to not let oher people affect me.. oh well.. dat was some very random stuff. oh. n i really rather meet up with other people than wif some other people..

anw.. this week had been not bad.. nth much though.. work was great as usual.. it always is.. but i thinking of taking a break soon.. i so need one man..

prob the only interesting thing is on thurs.. i went to curtin to study.. but end up having lunch wif usha n marcus.. den weiyue came, yanpin came, andrew came and went.. yea. end up gg library wif usha but she only stayed awhile.. anyhow, it was good lar. den went for prayer meeting. oh yes.. a highlight.. hahs.. it was really good. like all 3 dat i went for b4.. so i decided to go on thurs as well.. it was really good lar...

i got sent back.. rather was made to.. she literally pulled me into her car. argh!!! i shld haf been faster to run into yanjing's car.. anw. yea. end up we went for dinner instead.. something different. like i NEVER. end up with like curtin ppl.. but it was great. like something different.. and i enjoyed it lar.. anw. ya. had dinner wif lynn n weiyue.. and den kevin came to pick me.. we went for meeting.. lalala.. sigh. so sad lar.. someone leaving us.. looks like we are really lack of guys. max left, garry left, edi left, nic left, now anothe guy is leaving. sigh sigh sigh..

got 2 grps of ppl planning to go down south during e hols.. if the other grp remembers me, i wld like to go down. though it'll b something really new.. the other grp, i hafta do the planning.. lets see if i haf e energy lar k? hehehe..

2007-05-21T07:07:00.000-07:00

daddy n mummy wanna come over. but somehow, i dun wan. i feel that i am so comfortable here. i noe its bad. but oh well.. and i somehow feel the need to get a car now. arghs.. cannot stand it. keep troubling people.. how long will it take me to save up?? i dunno man.. lalala. oh well..

2007-05-19T07:53:00.000-07:00

i havent been blogging much.. oh well.. like yea.. guess cause my main google page is using my other email. so i kinda sian to use dis email..

kinda sick now. actually, i AM sick.. nose, throat, aiya.. everything!!!kinda sian.. cause its such a torture... especially the nose part.. sians...

i dun like u. really..

He Never Sleeps

our God is able
He is mighty
He is faithful

He never sleeps
He never slumbers
He never tires of hearing our prayer
when we are weak
He becomes stronger
so rest in His arms
and cast all of your cares upon Him

2007-05-15T01:35:00.000-07:00

i am tired. tired of people, tired of you.

life currently being made difficult by someone. but i shall not crumble under it. instead, i shall stand strong! kinda worried now.. but yea. God will provide...

in library with letitia now. i need sleep. later.

2007-05-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

oh my goodness. this is highly AMUSING... hehe.. anw. yea. i juz found out dat der is a gAl dat liked a guy like 3 yrs ago. i think till now lar. den rite. now she is taking action *dats weird enough* and then, as i looked out of my window... i saw a car driving pass.. its the guys car. and den, i see the gal step out of it.. HAHAHAHAHA.. woohoo.. secret dating eh...

anw.. life has been good.. besdies for the fact of not being able to stand ppl who like wan attention from every big shot available.. yea. its good. hehs.. school has been ok. though i am starting to realise i have alot of work to catch up on..

i realise sth. even though dey say dat first impressions are the most important, but i realise that how you carry yourself after taht is the most important. the first impression may b the best, but after that, the impression others have of you can like be destroyed completely...

work has been great. my boss is really good man... he is amazing. hehs. yea. really enjoyed like work and being under him. though i think i shld lessen my work load. like just stick to 7.5 hours.. yupyup..

kk.. needa go study. mayb take a short nap den go study le..

2007-05-02T08:45:00.000-07:00

i judge people too easily. well. i guess its just me. and somehow, i dun wanna change it. least the currently mindset, i know its bad and i shld change, but the thought of like being nice to a person dat i noe is not nice, is really not nice. like i dun like that thought.. maybe its the singaporean syndrome that i told letitia abt.. like how we are all so critical and think too much.. i'm trying to change!!

someone came up to me today and said.. "eunice, ask you ar.. are you ok?" *DIAO* like would i tell you i am not ok? hahaha. anw. it followed on.. "someone told me you look kind of... ... ... ...traumatised" *RIGHT* and it got even funnier "is it your ministry?" *nopes* "your school work?" *nopes* "uwa zone?" *er.. nopes* hahahha.. out of the 3 nopes, i dunno which is true. but what i know, is nowadays i seem wiser.. *is that good?* study abit more, dun fellowship as much.. oh well.. u noe sth? even if i had a problem, wld i tell u? hahaha... NO!

anw.. besides for such random things happening, i started work yesterday at subway!!!! it was great man! love the job.. n its fun summore.. mayb cause let oso working der? hahah.. den like yesterday was get to know you day.. today was the can play about wif letitia day. heheh.. yea.. i really enjoyed myself. n summore i haf a great boss.. super nice. like today he was saying, first most impt is God, den church, den studies, den work.. so like he understands if got other commitments. omg. where to get such boss man.. woohoo.. love it der man.. yea. it was a great day. i am super happy. hhehe.. anyone wan free sub? every wed got 1 6 inch one. cause i dun eat 2. i usually only need 1. haha.. faith. u got yours today. heheheh..

anw. today, after the lunch peak, while elle n me were serving the last few customers, let n justin*the boss* were talking lar.. den when i turned around, he said "hi eunice!" and i was like.. ok.. "yes?" and like he was like "nothing!! tish will tell u." only like after work, den i realise he was saying dat my smile never seem to fade.. like i seem to be always smiling. like he observe me for super long le. and i nv stop smiling. hehehe.. its nice to know.. cause i din noe dat.. n yea.. he is super nice.. so many things he did. but k lar i got no time to write. anw. now i got a new name. smily or smiling girl or sth. hehe... kinda nice to know that..

den again, i realise when i see my zone, the smile more or less disappears.. why?

2007-04-29T23:17:00.000-07:00

i realise, i judge ppl alot. especially those ppl who have left a bad impression with me, its gonna b very hard to get anywhere near my good books.. n dats bad.. haha. den again, it is quite difficult to get into my really really really bad books. cause i usually just let things go.. maybe its just you guys. hahs..

anyway, the past few days have been great. on thursday night, had a very last minute dinner call frm pia.. like meet up wif the service coordinators.. quite funny dis grp of ppl. we had pizzas. that were yummy!!! haha.. too bad i not dat close to dis grp yet. so havent started my trigger happiness yet. hehe. but yea. it was good.. oh yes. it was jack kong max pia fang tyng n me!!! hehe.. den aft dat, pia just had to have desert.. she has such a sweet tooth.. haha. anw. yea. so we went to some desert. n it was fantastic. hehe.. green tea icecream with red bean. mmmmmmm... delicious. hahah...

cell was ok.. nth fantastic. but sarah's bday party was good.. ppl went clubbing. macham some cell outing. terrible lar. anw. yea. i really think this cell is very trying.. elizabetH!!! where are u!!! kk she prob wont read this. but yea. she was such an inspiration n motivation. kk not dat der isnt any now.. ofcourse the main one is God. hehe.. service was ok. once again, i miss nic n janice.. sigh. i noe i shldnt like dwell in the past n all, but those thoughts of how well we did, i cant help but think.. i din think it was fantastic. i felt like i was slacking for one. and i din feel that it went in any particular way well.. but oh well..

oh service on sunday was amazingly good though. michael battersby came. n dat was e highlight. haha.. ywa. it was good.. his sermon, his playing of the piano, etc. he is good lar.. thorougly enjoyed myself. glad that i decided to go.. nearly didn't.. photos will go up soon.. have taken quite abit

Everlasting - michael battersby

the power of your word
the everlasting hope i've found in you
saturate me now

the comfort of your love
the wonder of your presence in my life
saturate me now

show me your glory
teach me your ways almightly God
establish your word and i will
soar with you above the storm

everlasting, ever faithful God
ever watching over me
everlasting, ever faithful God
ever watching over me

2007-04-25T23:28:00.000-07:00

i seem to keep forgetting to blog. kinda weird. but anw.. yea.. it was anzac day yesterday.. and i am suppose to do alot of things which i havent done.. argh!!!! hahaha... lets see.. tuesday nite was.. not bad.. went for cell dinner.. indo food. was great!!.. combined wif bijia's cell.. aft dat we went to watch movie.. it was ok.. as in the movie. but den... i somehow enjoyed myself alot.. i guess its cause its with (you) all.. i really really really enjoyed myself..

my dear cell leader wif jon who tried to duck(unsuccessful)

went to matbay yesterday to study wif letitia.. it was fun... the scenary was fantastic.. really.. shall put a picture up.. but yea. it was great. met pastor patrick der wif renee, christine and johnny.. (the last 3 are kids) yea. he came in richard simson's yatch. so cool rite. hahaha.. anw.. yea.. aft dat dorcas had discipleship.. and den aft dat, i had discipleship. now dorcas is in my discipleship too! yea.. aft dat was dinner!!! hehe.. dat eufei. dun wanna come out for dinner.. haha. but anw. yea.. went out wif crystal dorcas jamie howboon and jack.. like so random. felt too young to b der. HAHAHAHA.. anw.. yea.. it was an INTERESTING dinner.. lalala... aft dat went hme to bake.. cookies/muffins for anyone???

beautiful view of matilda bay (",)

letitia studying(not)

canoe polo (shaun.. u shld come try)

2007-04-21T23:18:00.000-07:00

i think i noe why that paranoid feeling le.. cause i lost my wallet. dunno where it is.. bought bbt. so cant b der.. where else can it b?? sigh.. not in nancy's car either.. so.. i prob dropped it around the area.. argh.. how how how.. hate this..

2007-04-21T10:13:00.000-07:00

hmmm... i dunno why, but i have this paranoid feeling about being a service coordinator.. its like.. i dunno why, but i feel like i am letting mavis down.. when i said yes, i had that peace of mind.. but suddenly, i don't.. i dunno why.. its weird..

been hanging out quite abit wif ppl like mishi mari josh abel these few days. actually, its juz like thurs nite n today.. but den again, i dun really see em.. so dats why its counted alot..

on thurs, went to city to meet huibing for dinner.. smartly forgot to bring her clothes.. we went to kim chi house for korean steamboat. i am sure she enjoyed it.. hehe.. den aft dat headed for timezone.. met michelle and melissa zheng with their paretns der.. the younger one chagned abit.. least the older one looks e same. hehs.. yea. and i rushed for my bus.. missed it by 1 min. had to wait der for 30min.. sads sads.. but yea.. headed for library to meet let.. den we walked to get my bike.. and in the process, dropped by mari's place. dey were playing citadels.. and yea. its a nice game. serious. those in singapore can go try buy that game. there are so many games that i wanna buy cause dey r simply so nice to play. hehs. oh.. got afew more.. like cranium is not bad as well.. so is blokus and sequence.. dunno since when i like such stuff. but its better than watching dramas eh. dun u agree?? haha..

friday cell was ok. i took a walk to ning's place frm mine. a good 40 min walk. but it was good. hehs.. really enjoyed it. went for bbt cause lydia went.. glad she gets along easily wif some ppl.. yea... hope she comes again. hehs..

wind surfing today was not bad.. dropped in twice only. den again, it was super calm.. got extra 2 hrs nxt week.. lalala... den went to city to get subway and meet letitia.. boss ask if wan i can work.. lala. shld i? hahahha.. kk i shld.. hehe.. den aft dat service.. i am so not used to stuff.. sigh. i dunno why.. anw.. aft service, had some meeting.. yea. its aft e meeting that i got all worried and paranoid. dunno why.. but i think its juz me. went to uncle billy's for dinner. not bad.. cheap for a dinner. den aft dat bought bbt and headed back!! hehe. talked to ryn's mum abit and den headed off to play citadels.. nice nice.. n aft dat played abit of taboo *nice game oso but quite old* yea.. and here i am..

work soon. quite excited. lalala..

2007-04-21T10:11:00.000-07:00

this is super funny. i am stuck to it now.. first was mishi mari josh dey all.. sigh...

2007-04-18T21:22:00.000-07:00

ironic eh. how i juz got internet at hme, but i dun blog at hme. i end up blogging in sch. anw.. i muz really thank mavis. cause now each time problems arise or i get worried, i think of wad she said.. makes sense eh.. but i guess the only problem now is that she is going ahead advertising for the place w/o telling me.. and when i ask her she says "no harm trying" like right... no harm.. u told me to go find and u go advertise. and even worse. put my number down w/o telling me.. like hello!! i wasnt expecting random phonecalls/sms.. sigh.. i really dunno wad to do wfi her.. best is to settle money first. den all will b better. hehs..

i realise i got alot of work to catch up on.. dis is terrible lar... needa study more and play and watch show less.. lalala...

i needa a job too!!! need to get a job to earn some extra cash.. lalala...

and i needa call home soon man.. sighs.. so many things to do.. kk i shall go off. needa prepare for a quiz later. chaoz.

2007-04-15T00:22:00.000-07:00

argh. i hope eufei didnt remember this.. sigh. if you actually visit dis eufei, pls tag...

anw.. these few days have been up and down. especially during cell and service.. like it seems like what has affected me has kinda affected me on a whole.. kinda bad cuase i juz dun see a point to talk to some of my cell members. infact, i practically ignore them except when i have to work wif em.. silly me.. and now its kinda difficult to start talking. i am just to comfortable ignoring.. i think i better sms an sms of apology soon.. lalala...

wad mavis said made sense.. i guess.. she made it sound easy.. but.. i guess.. i am more emotional than her so its kinda different.. but i guess.. have to try and do it lar... i hope i can lar.. thanks mummy.. hehe.. made alot of sense.. and really sound like a mother.. hehs.. like advice that ppl give are all.. yes. good, but.. still.. hahs. thanks thanks thanks!!!!

i havent had that feeling since 2004... i rmb the last time i actually admitted it was a tiring session of 4 hours wif someone.. yeap.. and its back.. oh well.. i really shld concentrate on my studies. cause its tiring.. lalala..

God's will.

2007-04-08T07:01:00.000-07:00

roller coaster.. i dunno why its been like this.. the moment i see you, i get scared. like i rather see your slippers at the door.. meaning you're out. i am so tired of it. i dunno why your existence can cause such emotional trauma.. it doesnt make sense eh..

maybe when one thing bothers you, everything starts to bother you as well. cause everything has been starting to bother me.. i think i think too much.. infact, i think my cgl cg helper and newest core member are all against me or have sth against me.. i somehow feel the difference for the first and the third. and the second. i juz dun see anything to talk to her about.. i guess thats how people work yea? like getting to know them based on your mood.. you think one has potential den u invest more time in the person and as a result neglect the rest. you dont involve your interns n helpers regarding investing in their lives. what on earth is this? i guess thats why i choose to ignore things. to not care. life was never that tough. oh well. why?

maybe you are just another one of those people. who easily get close to ppl.. another one eh..

2007-04-07T05:50:00.000-07:00

i thought i would just voice out my view.. well... maybe i was over persistent.. maybe i should not have said anything.. oh well.. i am starting to just show attitude to people as well.. actually, i just dont want to smile or be nice or anything.. i sometimes dont want to care. maybe its just that i have been too long with you. yes. i notice it. once a person is with you for long, you will just assume she will know what to do and all?? i guess thats why i wish i had a new cgl and i guess thats why i wish i was placed with the other half of my previous cell..

and you want to move out? sigh. alright. if you say.. kinda mafan, kinda a headache to settle but if makes you happy.. as long as you dont show me attitude and dont make my life difficult. thats all i ask for.

.

2007-04-01T22:35:00.000-07:00

What happens when you have a cell member that desperately wants cell at her place even if the location is not realistic and a cell leader that wants to give in to them all the way?? You have cell group held at the other end of the world and members who are unwilling to invite visitors. Hrmph. Cannot take it.. rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And what happens when you have 6 people who refuses to leave, and one of them wants the rest to leave and wants you to chase the rest away and only allow herself to stay?? And you know that the other 5 is must stay because it is one stay all stay.. I oso c annot take it… super irritating sia.. wanna kill ppl le.. rarrrr!!!!!

2007-03-28T01:30:00.000-07:00

now now... my wonderful cell leader.. hahhaha.. i really got no comments.. but yea.. its quite a funny picture. i never really intended for it to go up. it was by accident that i uploaded this picture. but all is good. heh.. the picture that i intended for is the one below... its not to full cell.. lishya and mahdri are missing, but yea.. we'll get them next round..
quite sad isn't it? hehe.. jon is the only guy. and he looks veyr lost.. hahaha.. i love these pictures. i should upload more.. it seems like that is dorcas's favourite pose eh.. haha.. acting cute!!!!

cell has been pretty fun.. i've been enjoying myself.. a bunch of crazy gals plus a boy who doesnt have a choice to be there or not. hahs..

school... i've been too slack as i see.. got a test and a presentation next week. muz work harder le.. jiayou!!!

2007-03-21T19:32:00.000-07:00

how bored were we?? haha dis is wad we did after dinner with the cell on our way to coffee. it was seriously funny. cause we were like paparazzi trying to tkae pictures of jon n dorcas in the car.. i guess this was like the best photo we got.. the rest were.. not very clear. haha.. anw.. yea.. it was a great time.. i really enjoyed myself. this cell is awesome!!! haha... eh... i seem to b behind my sch work n all.. lala.. i should should should start working man... need settle my room!!!! hahah.. anw. back to the cell dinner etc, we really had a great time. like cause wad we did was like play truth or truth with a modified version of indian poker. super funny.. but yea.. it was good.. hehehe.. managed to dig out alot of gossips from people... hahaha...

i like my room. very happy with the arrangement of it.. but i needa do abit more packing b4 i take pictures and post it up here. but i really like the layout.. yups

2007-03-17T23:23:00.000-07:00

what do you think about it? it is possible.

this question and reply has kept me thinking for the past day.. but it feels as if i have been thinking about it for the past yr or sth...

indeed, it is a long term commitment.. it is something that i won't mind doing, seriously.

so many commitments. will i be able to handle?

planning time wise, it seems ok.

but will i be too tired?

den again, like what he said, i would have to learn to be ministered to while working..

why did my name even pop out of his mouth? why was i put in the same cell???

too many coincidence that i cant believe it.

2007-03-14T19:29:00.000-07:00

i stand with arms wide and heart abandoned
in awe of the one who gave it all

irwin.. no lor. dun b mean.. did u noe dat der was once i saw a lizard in my room and i had a terrible nightmare??

so much going on this week.. hmmm... had leaders meeting on monday.. dunno why i was der.. tuesday met up wif david josh sharan let and sarah for gelare!!! woohoo!!haha.. had a great time.. went to ikea yesterday.. it was.. ok lar.. i realise that taking a cab home is cheaper than tkaing bus and getting them to deliver it. ofcourse cant compare to like your own car lar.. hahhaha

dorcas convo tonight. lallala. gg to buy stuff for her..

cell tmr... dunno how it will go.. lalala..

2007-03-12T23:47:00.000-07:00

I’m really lost for words.. like. I really dun wanna do stuff.. but then you have the ability to make me feel guilty and for me to do it in the end.. its been going on for 2 sems le…. I dunno if it is good or if it is bad.. I dunno if it is right or it is wrong.. but I really feel that when I have reached a point of tired of saying yes, and when I put my foot down and say no, it really means no. like the only time you actually realize that I really mean it is when I don’t care. And that is really bad.. I am sure you do not want to see it happen for important things like cell leading. Honestly, can’t you guys just listen and accept?

In all my ministries, yes, some of them maybe time consuming, but nothing is as tiring, as worrying, as headache as this. In fact, each time after choir, I feel refreshed. I love choir and singing to bits. Each time after ushering, I feel really happy.. like yea. I really do.. but yet, this ministry is the one that makes me tired, makes me dry, makes me frustrated etc..

Yes, it also makes me rely on God more, but so does my other ministires..

I remembered what Derrel said to Kevin n me.. he told us that God did not need us to serve. In fact, none of the ministries NEED us.. we are not all that important.. what is important is our choice and our decision. In where we want to serve God.. in where we find joy in.. in where we feel God’s calling.. den again, no one is going to tell you that they do not need people. They will always need people.. it is for us to put our feet down and say.. yes or no, we want or do not want to do it..

I am so tempted to tell the ic that I wanted to from the beginning learn from another cgl.. not that the present one is not good, but I feel that under another person, you learn more and you learn different things.

Today, I once again realize how much I miss the pink peacock and sir in the orange attire.. likei really do..

Anw. Irwin, snails are so NOT cute.. dun like you. Bleah.

2007-03-11T21:06:00.001-07:00

hmm.. i have a feeling uwa zone ppl actually reads this. super SIAN. haha. like why dey dun dare to juz tag or sth.. weird. nvm nvm... lalalala... in hmes 1103 exercise and health science lecture now... looking at weird pictures. lalala..

mavis was so sweet last night. called n asked if i needed anything.. mayb she was juz asking her fren sell it. but it was still pretty sweet. lalala...

dunno if i shld b excited or not.. but oh well...

love ushering and choir.. lalala.. cant wait for next prac to start.. lalala...

2007-03-11T21:06:00.000-07:00

2007-03-11T06:15:00.000-07:00

hmm.. i dunno to b excited or not. but really, i dunno to b excited or not. sigh.. cell has been... ok.. not too bad. but like i find it weird. but den it seems to b really good for the members especially.. sigh.. like i wanna try to take "ownership" but den one of you don't bother involving the cell, one of you don't bother updating us.. i really dunno wad you guys are expecting.. sigh... like if you wanna involve ppl, do it all the way. dun like half way half way kinda thing. what i hate is half way things. bleah..

went for iwt on thursday.. it was not bad lar. quite cool.. enjoyed myself. like you actualy get to meet new people and all.. yea.. i really really enjoyed myself. learnt alot as well.. hehs..

school has been ok.. kinda busy.. got stuff to do. and alot of exercise. muscles dying. hahhaha..

went for wind surfing on saturday. muscles dying as well.. sprained it... lalalalala...

am at eufei's place.. lalalla

housemates are a killer.. least one is. sigh...

i feel like running away... argh!!! hahahha...

2007-03-06T23:09:00.000-08:00

sometimes, when i look back, i somehow think that i actually regretted coming over to australia.. rather, the thought of "what would i be doing now" if i din go to australia but continued to study in singapore...

i miss you..

anw.. met up wif dawn today. surprises eh.. hahaha. now i noe why i should stop disturbing marcus. hehs...

hmm.. was quite pissed off last night.. den again, once u blabber it all out to your fren, it feels much better. thanks faith.. n let.. hehs...

i've been feeling all weird n funny again. dunno why.. sometimes, i juz wonder when would it be my turn...

ok randomness..

i cant wait for tmr. iwt!! but terrance isnt replying me.. lalala *excited*

2007-03-06T22:32:00.000-08:00

One More Time

Lord i saw your face last night

when i looked in the sky

you were smiling

you told me it would be ok

and you'd make a way

in my dark times

everytime i hear your voice

everytime i feel your touch

makes me know that i can face tomorrow

one more time

when all my friends go away

i'd be glad to say

you're still near me

even when the wind blows by

i feel warm inside

you're so lovely

chorus

i need you, don't leave me

without you i can't survive

chorus

and i know that i can face tomorrow

cause you've walked me through my pain and sorrow

makes me know that i can face tomorrow

one more time

2007-03-04T00:03:00.000-08:00

woohoo!!! freshies is over!!! den again, i miss choir practices. i guess thats why i wont quit choir? hahha.. like.. i really really enjoy choir practices.. yea. so there it goes.. cant wait for easter performance. heh. *excited* heh.. oh.. i conducted for uwa service. like usha ask me to conduct cause she got work.. but yea. in e end she din go to work cause she is sick... and she came for service.. but i still conducted. it was a very interesting experience. like i was really really really scared and my heart was beating like terribly fast. but den, like once we started, i sort of calmed down. like got alot of tips frm ppl n all. really thankful to all of em. like i dunno if i ever will conduct again. cause if i were usha, i wld never ask me again, but i muz say.. its not dat scary now. heh.. like really thanks to cath for praying for me.. n to jimmy usha n kong for advices. hehs.. even fake confidence is good eh?? hehehe... i was so scared dat during service, i kept praying that God wld juz use me, and like u noe, i wld b an instrument for Him and not like throw His face kinda thing. and the amazing thing is, IT WAS OK!!! hahaha.. yea. like alot of ppl tell me dat it was quite good. ivy though i was sha.. but i bet she was trying ot make me less kancheong, some choir members told me i was more firm and all.. which was goood.. not that scared n all.. hehe.. praise the Lord!!!

labs and tutes are starting.. dunno to b excited or wad. anw. i shall go off le lar.. update more later.. oh yes.. if anyone frm ympact is reading this, tell shane that as soon as i get my internet, i will upload freshies welcome (its a bi-annual event) dance for him to see.. yupyup.. chaoz.

2007-02-25T04:34:00.000-08:00

yays. i juz got my new place!!!! hehehe.. its nice. juz dat kinda expensive.. at weijun's place slacking now.. had dinner den enjoying the cool air.. school starts tomorrow... so bored man..

the new year has been so so.. but i am dying cause my house has no electricity, and neither does it have internet!!! my neighbours are nice. enjoying the time here.. cause u noe.. staying out is a whole new thing..

needa go hme n bathe!!! hehehe... n start packing. think lydia cant stand the messy living room where all my stuff are.. cant wait to start cooking and all lalalalala...

2007-02-18T05:02:00.000-08:00

happy cny to everyone!!! hahaha. i am currently using josh's com again..think dorcas n me freeload off em too often le.. been really tired for thepast few days. got loads of work and oreintation stuff to do. currntly still homeless though. hehs.. its cny. and guess where our cny dinner was... ... at myers street. and its dominos.. gosh. dunno wad possessed me to choose dis over such good meals at home.. grandma's cooking.. mmmm.. hahhaha..

had reunion dinner over at crystal's yesterday.. wif howboon karen yeemei yanjing chinseng fangtyng joshtoh stan max dorcas angeline bijia.. yada yada yada.. datw as a very random group, but i had fun. had great food too!!! hehehehe... enjoyed myself loads man... there is this new game called cranium that max bought. you guys should go find the singapore version if possible. is really really great. hehehe..

sometimes, i just dun undestand ppl.. mayb i try too hard trying to understand them.. and i really dunno how dey can b so irresponsible, or how ppl tolerate such ppl who are irresponsible and yet not say anything.. mayb your parents never taught you punctuality? sigh.

the guys are watching my super ex-girlfriend.. watched it b4 cause elaine reccommended it. bored. hahahha..

2007-02-08T08:04:00.000-08:00

i've really got no confidence.. no confidence.. like.. i really dun wanna lead. whats the point in me leading if i haf no confidence. honestly.. sigh.. why? i am not as capable as you guys think i am. neither am i as strong as you think i am.. can i not do it pls??

2007-02-06T23:09:00.000-08:00

hmmm.. currently in myers street.. using francis's com. wanted to do my timetabling. but den realise that its only like up nxt week. so looks like nxt week it is. hehs. means come to myers street for nth. lalala... i very sian at hme. no tv to watch.. and nth to do.. feel quite bad though. keep coming over to use der internet. lallala.. hehs. okok i shld b off to do other stuff..

2007-02-04T07:07:00.000-08:00

I really dun understand. Where are there some people who do no do as they preach. They do things for their own benefit. They plan things according to what they wan. Dey dun care wad other people wan. Sigh.

As time goes, bit by bit u see more and more of the real side of people. You start to realize they are not that perfect. And then you think back and realize that you’re not that perfect as well.. but then again, you just cant understand what some people think and do…

I am so tempted to confront.. but yet again, I wld rather not.. like just forget whatever it is and concentrate on your own stuff.. cause if not.. life is gg to b tough.. maybe its better to be blind to what this world is and just concentrate on your own job.. maybe that’s what I shall do..

2007-01-31T02:01:00.000-08:00

gosh. i really mis the inernet.. hahaa.. no internet for the past few days. but its good tob able to use it here in josh's place. juz dat e amt of typos are crazy..

past few days has been busy looking for houses. some houses are nice. some are not. some are juz plain and run down, some are really nice n i wanna get em.. hehs.. but those dat are nice haf like 20 plus ppl applying to it as well.. argh. God's will God's will. hahs..

been out wif chris n his dad uncle roy for the past few days. dorcas wanna invest in him, but u really can see the potential lar.. so dats good. hehs..

was reading sth dat ruwei sent to me. like abt thanking people for their time. and i realise that like u noe.. alot of ppl haf spent time on me. andi really really got to thank them for their time.. hahs. so many ideas and things to do. dunno if will do or not..

oh well.. i am kinda done in josh's place.. dorcas is watching show wif stan. chris is also watching abit. francis in gym, josh sleeping. gosh. dis hsehold.. hahaha.. jking jking.. i got alo of things to do man.. lalala.. muz find time.. kk i better go.. still got sports tonight. at 9pm. dis is crazy. hahaha..

2007-01-27T19:56:00.000-08:00

M dyIts been… 3 days since I have been back in perth. It kinda feels like I haf never left. Den again, its crazy to think so. But I really really am enjoying my stay.. currently staying wif my cell leader. At first, it was quite doubtful at how things would work out, but she has been really nice n all.. yea.. its very enjoyable now, though I am sleeping in e living room wif all der boxes and all, but like I really enjoy like talks wif her. Like it makes sense to me.. mayb its juz like she mothering me, like how she say dat if I stayed wif certain ppl, I wld end up mothering them. And I guess that rules out she n june to move in wif..

The weather down under has been TERRIBLE. It is like a sauna. And u cant wear back the same set of clothes the next day cause u wld haf b sweating in your old set. Hahs.. but yea.. other than the heat, perth has been great.

When I first came back, it was Australia day. Der version of national day. So we went to watch fireworks! Haha. I had some pretty good pictures. Hehe.. nxt time get a better cam, den can get better pics. Hahaha.. no link. Anw. Yea. Really like taking pics. Like random ones… oh yes… loads of freshies too!!! All frm canning college.. college kids. Gosh. Dey r young. Hahhaha.. though not saying that I am not young. As compared to the others.. I realize that like crystal is 8 yrs older than me!!!! Dats amy’s age. But crystal is married. And we are waiting for the kid to come next.. hahahah.. but yea.. staying wif dorcas really like allowed me to see things differently.. u noe.. kinda like the influence theory. Like she influences me. I actually wish I can stay in a hsehold that works bothways.. like peer influence.. haha.. pray!!!

Been looking for a hse. And God will provide!! And needa settle other admin stuff for my change of course. And also, I am taking on 2 “events” for orientation.. kinda excited.. cause dunno wad it wld encompass, but really cant wait to learn from it. Ofcourse, its all for God that I do it..

These few days, like dorcas and uncle roy *one of e freshies dad* have been speaking i wld say life into me. Like wad dey say makes sense, and are really edifying.. and sometimes, though u get worried hearing wad dey say, but u noe its right. And somehow u juz cant deny that its right. Hahas..

Ok lar. Dorcas sleeping le. Cause she got sch tmr morning. As for me, I needa do quite a lot of stuff.. needa go prepare to sleep le.. hehs.. need my sleep!! Have been sleeping late for the past 2 nites *cause dorcas n I were talking away* hahaha..

2007-01-25T08:20:00.000-08:00

i suddenly dun really wanna go back to perth. i guess its wad u call blood is thicker than water. dunno why i am getting all emotional again. its like when i first left. and i am actually looking forward to their trip to perth..

suddenly, i feel like the future is bleak. i dunno what to expect in perth.. and yet my parents wont be there to catch me when i fall anymore.. just like God's love that never ceases, i have let them down so many times, but they still love me so much and give me so much, giving me all that i want and ask for..

i really dunno wad to say to them. for all the times that i've been rude, impatient, fierce, stubborn.. i dunno wad i can do to make up for everything. i suddenly want to stay in singapore, find a job and make their life easier.

i love you.

2007-01-17T07:48:00.000-08:00

hmm. time to update!!! hahahaha..

sunday was great!! delirious? was great! and wad max said was true. the way chc arranges der worship section was great. like it was not a concert. it was worship. after service, went to changi airport for lunch. wish it was me flying.. had sakae AGAIN.. aft dat it was hme. sent elaine to hostel. helped her wif her organic chem abit. den aft dat helped her move her books etc upstairs n do her bedsheet *pampered little gal. hahah* anw. yea. den i had dinner at nite.. terrible though..

monday was back to work!! hehehe. i love hope kids. dey r juz so cute. if u have me on ya msn, see my display pic. the boy n e gal are so cute!!!! ziqi n aloysius.. like dey r really adorable!!! hahaha.. i love e pri 1s e best. the pri 2 are ok. pri 3-6 are bad.. hahs.. as in i am bias lar. hahs.. der is dis boy called clive. oso very cute. haha.. den aft work, it was dinner wif jess n charlene at kenny rogers. good time catching up wif e 2 of em..

on tuesday, aft work, went to faith's hse for dinner.. it was.. haha. n ocommetns. we had like ba kut teh w/o e taste, black pepper tofu, salted egg squid that was dodgy, and sambal kangkong.. den no rice. well doen faith. haha.. anw. yea. it was wif max weijun faith n evangeline (faith sis) and me lar. yea..

on wed, which is today, aft work, went to meet nish n lydia. watched blood diamond. it was great. hehs. den had pasta mania. *again* hahaha.. nice catching up wif lydia.. lalalla.. kk.. i shall blog again some other time..

2007-01-14T07:09:00.000-08:00

i don't understand...

why do people do so much just to get attention. from guys. i have seen too much le. and i am sick of it. really sick of it. sigh. and why does it have to b those close frens ard me??

mayb i just havent been exposed enough. taylors was.. too perfect.. nah it wasnt. but it was good. murZ oso.

people do weird things under the jealousy and out of desperation.

anyway. all that apart, muz really thank God cause my course was confirmed. heehehe.. sports sci here i come!!!